Have I ever told you guys about my food intolerances? They’re really fun, and I want to write something in the upcoming days that need you to know about them.
Two years ago I was lamenting to Aunt Sarah about my legs. They were rashy and SO ITCHY – sometimes I’d stay up all night crying because my legs itched so bad. She immediately told me to stop eating gluten. Uh, what? I ate toast every morning for breakfast and I loved me some sandwiches, oh and I ate a piece of banana bread every time I went to Starbucks. She then casually mentioned I should stop consuming dairy, too.
I remember sitting on the floor of her living room, scratching my leg, and telling her “one thing at a time, Sarah. I can’t imagine taking out ALL THOSE FOODS.”
Cold turkeying gluten was amazing. I mean, yeah… I did a funeral march up and down the aisles of Fred Meyer and let tears fall out of my eyes as I made note of all the things I wouldn’t be able to eat. and sometimes…. sometimes you guys, bread just smells SO GOOD.
(literally myself and my gluten-free friend Sara sniffing bread)
At that point, I’d also been having what I’d decided were gall bladder attacks on the regular. I’d fall asleep feeling kind of sick to my stomach and spend most of the night tossing and turning with an intense pain. I had no health insurance so I did some research and was 100% certain I’d self-diagnosed correctly. Because of that, I ate no greasy or fried foods.
Then in July of 2013 something different happened. I had one of my fairly regular gall bladder attacks… but it wasn’t stopping. It had been going for a solid 6 hours, and I started puking. I NEVER puke. Like if I get sick, I get it out of my system by sitting (IF YOU GET WHAT I’M SAYING – JUST ADD AN H AFTER THE FIRST LETTER). That was the moment I called my dad and asked him to please come drive me to the emergency room, where I laid all over the dirty floor of the ER groaning and wincing and getting up only to puke more in the bathroom.
It was the most expensive confirmation I’ve ever had, because thousands of dollars later I was told that my gall bladder was the issue and they’d like to perform the $10,000 operation to remove it the following week. Being Stephanie Orefice, I started asking the doctor a zillion questions… like why was it happening if I’d already figured out the problem and was doing what I thought would fix it.
She asked me about greasy foods. and fried foods. and then…. dairy.
I mean…. yeah I do go through the Tillamook Cheese Factory Cheese Sample Line multiple times because have you ever HAD smoked cheddar cheese? and yeah, I’d had ice cream the day before and a lot of cheese the day before that and… dairy, really??
That’s when I realized that Aunt Sarah had been right.
No gluten.
and
No dairy.
Look, I’m a person who doesn’t like to draw attention to myself. and even though Portland is INCREDIBLY food intolerance friendly, are you guys aware of how often people are annoyed by food intolerances?
I have such a hard time being “that person.” You know, the one who always suggests Chipotle, Mighty Bowl or Freshii. The one who cringes at suggestions of italian food because that compromises everything (plus I hate red sauce anyway). Especially because gluten won’t make me sick, just uncomfortable and small amounts of dairy don’t bother me.
Since it’s an intolerance and not an allergy, I’ve had a hard time transitioning into being completely gluten/dairy free. I don’t want to be that jerk.
Good talk. This is a solid foundation for what I want to share with you on another day.
Michael has a gluten intolerance too. And he didn’t realize it for a looong time, which is pretty crazy! And it’s just so not worth it for him to eat gluten because he gets a horrible stomach ache!
oh my gosh. gluten is evil. how long ago did he discover it? does it change your eating, too?? man. it’s the worst.
Just this summer! His stomach would hurt a lot so he cut out lactose and didn’t get better, so then he cut out gluten and it stopped. It has changed my eating because we make sure not to eat anything with gluten when we make dinner together or something. I still eat it on my own though.
haha are you like PRAISE THE LORD I CAN HAVE A SANDWICH? ;D
it’s crazy how much gluten affects people. in general whenever any of my friends don’t feel well on the regular I’m like “get rid of gluten. just try it.”
My niece has just discovered a fructose intolerance. Along with tomatoes, garlic, and onions. Garlic and onion salt are in EVERYTHING. I feel so bad for her. I’m allergic (not epipen necessary) to avocados and kiwi, which is annoying, but not the end of the world.
oh my goodness… what does she even eat!? kristen is allergic to yeast and i feel awful for her! avocados and kiwi.. i actually didn’t discover either of those until i was a grown up, so i feel like that’s sad but not unmanageable. have you always been allergic to them?
Not a lot, that’s for sure. My sister’s slowly figuring out which things work and which don’t. I discovered the kiwi thing in high school, but I know I had eaten them before with no issue. My tongue swells and my mouth gets SUPER itchy. With avocado, I think I did that to myself. I ate almost two whole avocados at once, then my gallbladder revolted. Ever since I can’t even have a little avo in sushi or anything without needing to expel it one way or the other.
oh my gosh that is CRAZY! i only just discovered avocados and how much i like them. have you ever had your gall bladder removed or anything? gall bladders are literally the worst.
Nope, but my mom did. I wonder if there’s anything genetic with gall bladders?
i’m lactose intolerant! welcome to the lactard club… it’s not really a fun club! but the good thing is that there are so many dairy-replacement options and i’m seeing more & more gluten free things also. although like you said that doesn’t mean it’s healthy!!! i can’t imagine being gluten free… i have a lot of stomach issues too (not nearly as painful or frequent as you described) so i’m wondering if that would be better if i cut out gluten? i’m just so scared b/c what would i eat? (i know that’s dramatic) let us know what kind of recipes you make!!!
yeah when i first discovered all of this ernie was like “well if you’re going to be any food intolerant, portland is probably the best place to be.” which is SO TRUE!
you should totally try the no gluten thing. i actually thought i’d responded to this comment because how did you feel when you did the whole 30 thing? i’m actually on day 1 of it right now, and it’s gluten free. i know you’ve done it before so whatever you ate then would totally work for no gluten/dairy.
i’m okay to not have tons of variety… green things + chicken + coconut oil, remember? haha. but today i did put red pepper in my scrambled eggs so i’m kind of growing up, haha.
I am self diagnosed as lactose intolerant. I just know that with large doses of dairy…I DO NOT FEEL GOOD. Small doses are ok though and some dairy doesn’t bother me at all. When I go to dutch brothers I always get a soy drink (I know the issues about soy too…but at this point getting them to learn a new drink seems like too much work). Recently there’s a girl that works there and every time I order she says excitedly…”Are you lactose intolerant? Me too!” And, I cringe. I’m not sure why I cringe, but I do. Suddenly I’m in some secret club with this stranger and I’m yelling “please don’t draw attention to my eating issues, thank you very much!”
do you think it’s because of your gallbladder?? or lack of, right? small amounts doesn’t bother either, and that’s almost worse because i don’t know until i’m like I HAD TOO MUCH, haha.
&& yessss about the secret club that nobody needs to know about. BUT. do you know how much it drives me insane when i get a non-dairy mocha and someone says “do you still want whipped cream?” …. no, do you think i just got a rice milk lavender latte because rice milk is the tastiest option? come on. people these days.
coconut milk is a good alternative!!
I’m definitely Gluten intolerant, and seem to be lactose intolerant as well and I so feel you on the Italian food thing, especially because I LOVE it. I ate some mac and cheese on Sunday because I couldn’t hold back… My stomach is still not over it.
oh gosh. i really miss mac and cheese. although there is a REALLY GOOD gluten/dairy free mac n cheese…. (http://www.amys.com/products/product-detail/gluten-free/000043) it’s pretty good!
Oh boy. You should meet my ENTIRE FAMILY. We have everything – from celiac to dairy allergy to regular allergies and even an allergy to GRASS. I know that I’ve got an intolerance for gluten, but I’m just so in love with my bread… I know I’d feel a lot more alive if I went gluten free. My family made me do it when I was 16 for a year, and I lost so much weight and felt SO great and cheerful and active ALL THE TIME and now I’m a bit chubby and lumpy and I have NO energy. Ever. That could be post-baby-ness, but really… I think I just talked myself into at least TRYING to go gluten free. It’s impressive that you did it cold turkey! I think we actually weaned me off when I was a teenager. It’s so hard to quit! As for dairy, I rarely eat or consume it because Justin is lactose intolerant! I’m sorry you have to go through all this 🙁 You got your kidney out right?
GIRL…. STEP AWAY FROM THE BREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
just do it for a week. then do one more week. just try it for a little amount of time and see how you feel. i believe in you! when i first gave up gluten i was AMAZED by how i no longer experienced the afternoon slump of foggy brain. just do it. <3