this happened.

Right now I’m just too emotionally drained to play the blogging game.

When I think about why I want people to read my blog, when I think about what kinds of content I want to create or the reason I hope people will do things like join the new mailing list I’m going to attempt (it’s below my “about” info on my sidebar) is because I want to be REAL.

Sometimes I read blogs and I go “cool recipe, but WHO ARE YOU?” or… “hey thanks for the 15 ways to improve my blogging, but what is so important about you that I should listen?”

I just want to be real.

That’s what’s about to go down right now.

This happened.
this happened //


My room is a mess.
I didn’t get paid for my vacation time.
My face is breaking out… probably because I haven’t been eating well.
Oh, I gained 3 lbs.
One of my closest friends in Vancouver is moving in the next two weeks and we had a little goodbye dinner.
Someone said we would go hiking today and yesterday I texted and asked “are we still on for tomorrow?” and they never responded.
Living with the weight of someone wanting to have nothing to do with me sometimes creeps in and punches me in the heart repeatedly.
I’ve been biting my nails a lot.
In general I feel kind of lost in this very moment.

I wondered what time it was in Australia because I really wanted to message my friend Donna. Instead, I decided I would get off my bed, stop binge watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix (I know, so awful. I KNOW.) and sit at my desk reading and writing. After setting my computer on my desk, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, I had two Facebook notifications. One was from my dear friend Sarah who lives in San Francsico (and I’m trying to get her to start blogging… go bully her into doing it).

This is what it said:

friendship //

That’s it.

My eyes started watering.

Then I looked at the message notification.

It was Donna. 

and I literally started sobbing.


I couldn’t even begin to fathom how two of my closest friends, in the time it took me to GO TO THE BATHROOM, would reach out and step into my lost moment and reassure me of their love. Even with my gross, broken out face, with my 3 extra pounds from vacation, my nasty chewed up nails, my uncertainty of anything…

God saw where I was at and how my spirit was so weak and he used my friends to strengthen me.

Do you know how often I think about people and never reach out to them? ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes I don’t know what to say, I just had someone on my mind. Today I texted Robyn a little parade of penguin emojis because I thought of her but didn’t know what to say. She responded with a parade of elephants.

We are such an important resource for God to use to help each other. 

Right now, someone you know and love is probably hurting or confused or worried. They’re probably feeling a little alone and a small, seemingly insignificant text message could turn it all around.

When you randomly have a friend come to mind, pray for them. and then most importantly… reach out to them. Text, tweet, Facebook, call, FaceTime… just tell them they are loved.

A few weeks ago I got a letter in the mail from my friend Lisa. It was a card, and inside it said “You are loved. You are wanted.” and that was it. Do that for your friends. I want to be so much better at that, because that’s the stuff that gets people through the rough evenings.

So anyway.

That happened.