Shout out to Baby Martian for hitting a huge milestone: homegirl is officially a pound this week, according to the internet.

We missed a photo last week because I was out of town, and then we realized.. if we just skipped week 21, we could actually take a picture of week 22 on the first day of week 22. Prior to getting pregnant, I didn’t realize how you don’t just count months, you count weeks and even DAYS.

Today I was walking and caught my reflection in the mirror and said “oh wow, I actually really look pregnant.” and I’ve noticed that I started doing that thing pregnant women do where they walk around with their hand on top of their stomachs.

Aside from looking rounder, still having less of an appetite, and disturbingly vivid dreams, I’m still experiencing a fairly asymptomatic pregnancy.

Oh. Except. I CANNOT STAND the smell of body gas/fluid/feces/etc. Like if I use a bathroom after someone who pooped like 30 minutes before, I’ll start gagging and want to puke/die/run/etc. Not that I loved the smell of lingering crap, but my body didn’t used to respond like this!

Over the past two weeks, I’ve gained a pound. I’m still down 6 pounds from my first weigh in.

I feel her squirming every so often, more consistently after I eat food. also she got really active while we were watching the new Aladdin the other day.

I wonder what she looks like. Most babies look the exact same to me, but what color will her hair be? Will she have birth marks, and where? Will her ears stick out a lot? Will she have a bunch of little rolls on her legs and arms?

There’s a lot that’s allowing me to be patient. Our bedroom ceiling is still leaking, so we haven’t bought a crib or anything. We’re kind of evaluating if this is the best place for us and our tiny human to live when she gets here. We need to figure that out (we’re working on it!). I’m overwhelmed by the whole stroller/car seat thing (HELP! WHAT IS EASY AND SIMPLE?).

and I’m cherishing the remaining moments of Justen and Stephanie Martian. By the end of the year, we’ll be a party of 3, a family unit that includes a Mr, a Mrs and a baby. We will never experience life just the two of us ever again. I’m cool with that, but I’m just soaking it all in. We learned one another and chose each other and we’re about to add an unknown person to our mix. For the rest of our lives. It’s a lot. It’s really heavy feeling some days.

But I’m grateful for the chance to be patient. I know there will come a point where the crib is set up, the car seat is installed, the bag is packed, and I will be struggling to enjoy the countdown.

The Martians are over here patiently, excitedly and nervously awaiting the invasion of our Baby Martian.

On Week 19, Day 1, we went to an anatomy scan for our growing little coffee bean. I was anxious to find out what’s between its little legs. It started with measure all of our baby’s growing little body parts. The brain, the heart, spine, legs, and so on and so forth. I watched their little legs move and kick and in that moment I didn’t care if they were ultimately an innie or an outie (IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN) because I just was so happy they were alive and moving.

Week 19 Anatomy Scan! It’s a GIRL!
Sandals / Dress / Similar jacket 

Up until that moment, I’d felt kind of disconnected from the pregnancy. If y’all remember, I’d been referring to it as a medical condition. But seeing our baby MOVING literally changed everything.

A few days later, I found myself at Disneyland with my mom. I was changing into my pajamas and noticed that my stomach – which is normally really squishy – had started feeling harder. I KNOW I haven’t done any ab work outs in the past 4 years, so I started getting excited that maybe my body was starting to FEEL pregnant.

When I got home, Justen commented that I looked like I was developing a bit of a bump. I commented back “oh, instead of just being regular fat?” he didn’t agree with that since he’s a gentleman. But it’s true, I mostly look in the mirror and feel like I LOOK the same.

I’ve been constantly looking up “overweight pregnancy week ______” (whichever week I’ve been in) to get a realistic idea of what other people looked like who started their pregnancy overweight.

Then I thought… you know what, I’ll go ahead and share the last half of this pregnancy in case it helps other people feel less alone or secret about what’s going on with their body!

Baby Martian: Week 20

Shoes // Similar Dress // Similar cardigan

Justen told me to look excited, which I thought I did well. Also, I was consciously telling myself to not curl up my left hand fingers to prove that they’re normal length, but alas… I was too busy being excited. I decided that I’ll wear this same outfit every week because I always wonder about the inconsistency between outfits.

And full disclosure: I decided to wear my trusty Spanx. Mostly because I read that Spanx during pregnancy is okay (yeah I looked it up) and because I’m a little bit extra.

Here’s a rundown on what I’ve learned the first half of my overweight pregnancy:

• Everyone thinks you’re showing and glowing when you know it’s just years of excessive Oreo eating.
• It can be hard when everyone on message boards is posting their cute little baby bumps and you’re still looking down and seeing the same ol’ thing.
• I’ve LOST weight (7 pounds) since I first got pregnant. I’ve been eating until I’m full (my doctor asked if my weight loss was the result of eating healthier and I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d had a blizzard the day before and coffee cake for breakfast) but I just don’t have much of an appetite. It’s not an aversion, I’m just never that hungry.
• Emotionally it’s hard to suddenly have everyone really concerned with a part of your body you’re really insecure about.

Our little coffee bean is healthy and active. Although my medical record lists my ongoing medical conditions as “Supervision High Risk Pregnancy” because of “Severe Obesity In Pregnancy” (ouch), my body is still able to grow and care for a little growing human being.

The past few years have been emotionally trying for me. Seeing those conditions listed for me kind of gave me a huge wake up call. Right now I’m just focused on letting my body rest when it needs, fueling it as best as I can (beyond blizzards and coffee cake, ok?), and having grace for myself. But after my body brings our baby into the world, I’m re-evaluating how I’ve been treating it (the aforementioned excessive Oreo eating) and making some changes.

For now? It’s not only my home, but also home to the coolest miracle I’ve ever been a part of. Thanks you body, overweight and all.

PS. I hate when people do this sort of thing as a pregnancy announcement. Thankfully this isn’t a pregnancy announcement.