formless and empty – the new cabins at camp

Even though I say it all the time I’m not sure if it is really understood as deeply as I’d like it to be: I’m a camp person. I’m all about camp.

Last fall, huge changes began for my childhood summer camp, Camp Arnold.  Buildings that have been around since the beginning- the A-Frames – were torn down in order to build brand spanking new cabins. And it’s kind of scary, because that’s all we’ve ever known of Camp Arnold.

I’ve committed to documenting the whole new cabin story as best as I can so that my friends who live far away can stay updated and so that in fifty years we can look back on when they were built…. and because writing about it helps me keep my emotions in check, and sometimes I can get really emotional about the A-Frames.

No, seriously I can get so emotional. A few days ago I realized that I had seen the A-Frames get torn down. They were no longer a part of Camp. They’d been taken out in receptacles of honor (as Mark the Camp Director gently called the DUMPSTERS). I got so sad that I changed my Facebook cover photo in memory of the torn down buildings.

So. many. emotions.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything about the A-Frames…. or I guess the space that used to be the A-Frames, I should say.

I spent New Years Eve at camp and on New Years Day, we walked up to the new cabin ground. Before the A-Frames were destroyed Mark mentioned how crazy it was that the earth under the A-Frames hadn’t seen sunlight in nearly 50 years. I stood on dirt thinking about how it would soon be covered up by buildings for many many many years.

There were trenches all over the place, marking where the new cabins will be built. And even though Mark has explained the layout of the cabins to me a few times, I couldn’t really imagine what they might look like until he walked me around the space, pointing out where the bathroom will be and the counselor room and the common areas and the actual camper cabin part.

I mentioned this in a post not too long ago but a really powerful part of the creation, for me, is when it says… God created the earth… now the earth was formless and empty. God created the blank canvas with which to paint a masterpiece.

Standing on the ground of the new cabins reminded me of that. It was like… in the year 2015, Camp Arnold built new cabins. Now the cabins are formless and empty. But they are there… the anticipation, the hope and the plans.

In my life, I want God to always be busy creating new things and leaving his messy fingerprints all over, but I rebel against the whole entire process.

Camp wants and needs new cabins. People loooooove the old ones. Something had to give, and the need sometimes outweighs the desire. Sometimes God hears us say that we like the person we’re dating, we want a baby, a raise would be nice, I want to get married, please heal my friend… he hears us loud and clear, just like the leadership at Camp Arnold knows without a doubt that the A-Frames were beloved little homes for many people. But those entrusted with Camp Arnold also knew that letting the A-Frames stick around forever just because people like them would be foolish.

Those A-Frames were built at a pretty central part of camp. Right in the middle of many things, right where cabins of campers should be every summer. There’s no other option. The trees had to be cleared and the buildings had to be torn down. and it SUCKS. I’ve cried many tears about them and have lamented my sorrow over those pointy little buildings with my summer camp friends. But the need for new cabins outweighs the desire for everything to stay the same.

The same in my life and in my heart. Sometimes the things God knows I need have to be built on a place in my life that are already full of the things I desire. and God has to clear some trees and tear down some things I love. That’s when things are like the earth at the beginning: formless and empty. Look at what God did out of the formless and empty earth. Have you seen waterfalls? and mountains? and sunrises? and oceans? and spiderwebs with dewdrops as the light hits it in a way that makes it look like Christmas lights? I’d say that God has a history of making masterpieces out of formless, empty things.

I’m excited to see the cabins be built this year – to watch them go from formless, empty anticipations to real, solid, secure buildings that will house thousands and tens of thousands of hurting children in their lifetime.  I am also excited to see the masterpieces God will build through, in and with me – to watch parts of my life go from formless, empty anticipations into his plan and path and promise for me.

In the meantime, while we wait.

This is what the hillside of Camp Arnold looked like as of January 1, 2015.

IMG_9524 IMG_9531 IMG_9532 IMG_9533 IMG_9535 IMG_9537 IMG_9539 IMG_9540 IMG_9541

Brave Enough to Love

Martin Luther King Jr. QuoteI think it’s easy to pigeon-hole Martin Luther King, Jr. as a guy who was part of a race issue. We associate him with 1960s Civil Rights Movement, which was primarily regarding race and segregation issues.

Recently in my Sunday School class we were going over issues of abortion and euthanasia and I taught about the stance of our church, The Salvation Army. And this is what hit me. The Salvation Army is pro-LIFE. and I don’t mean that in the sense of “pro-life vs abortion,” I mean that we are about LIFE. Jesus came to give us LIFE and life more abundantly. Not just life, but a deep and wide and expansive life. The THIEF came to steal and destroy. But not Christ.

and Martin Luther King, Jr. stood alongside Christ and fought for LIFE – and life more abundantly.

It’s easy to believe that segregation is a thing of the past because we don’t verbally tell people to sit in certain places or label water fountains, but looking over the biggest news topics of 2014 shows that racism is still wounding our society.

But it’s not just racism. It’s segregation. We might think we don’t see skin color, but do we have sensitive noses? Do we avoid eye contact or cross to the other side of the street or keep walking without acknowledging a voice?

Christ came to give LIFE – not just breath, but real LIFE. Today we honor a man who fought with Christ for ABUNDANT LIFE.

If we claim to be followers of Jesus Christ, we need to stand alongside the LIFE of men like Martin Luther King, Jr. Who are the ones in your life being denied ABUNDANT LIFE? Show me the consistent group of people in your life who go unnoticed, overlooked and avoided and I will show you the place where you need to join the fight for LIFE, and LIFE ABUNDANTLY.

Let us not forget that Martin Luther King, Jr. was a man who is remembered as a Civil Rights Leader but declared that his role in the Civil Rights Movement came about because of his deep conviction and belief in the words of the Lord Jesus Christ. One person can radically shake the world.

I am one person and you are one person and today would be a great day to start that earthquake. It may look crazy to others, it may require unfathomable amounts of bravery, but it’s better than crossing to the other side of the street and looking away from injustice like that forgives us for our silence.


TV Talk: The Bachelor, MTV shows, Criminal Minds & SVU

Now, more than ever in my life, I watch TV. Religiously. Not 24/7, but I have a list of shows I CONSISTENTLY watch. I was reading through Kaeleen’s blog and she writes recaps of Pretty Little Liars (I REFUSE TO CONTINUE TO WATCH THAT FOR THIS MOMENT) and I LOVED reading them. and then I realized… I LOVE twitter during TV airings, so I should just compile my thoughts of the TV shows I’ve watched and post them and then we can all just discuss the stupid things we all waste our time on. but then it’s building community and that’s not stupid.

The Bachelor //
Okay let me say that I want to love the idea of this show. Last year I became a woman when I started watching The Bachelorette. and I LOOOOOVED Farmer Chris. So when it was announced that he would be the next Bachelor I was OVER THE MOON. But this show is an absolute snoozefest. and it kind of makes me sad to see all of these women fighting for the affection of a man they don’t actually even know, and feeling so destroyed about themselves when they aren’t validated by a flower.

The Bachelor //

And the whole parading a group of women through Los Angeles in their bikinis before they do a bikini TRACTOR RACE? No. Anyway. I’m hoping Britt wins and that the two widowed women don’t get their hearts destroyed too badly.

Oh. And POOR KIMBERLY. She convinced Chris to give her a second chance…. and she still got eliminated. Poor girl.

MTV The Challenge: Battle of the Exes 2 //
Oh my poor heart. Diem is starting to get sick. Even though CT can be a total jerk, I think watching him and Diem together has always been my favorite part of the challenges they’re on together. Knowing that this is the beginning of the end of Diem’s precious, inspiring life on earth is AWFUL. The previews for next week KILLED ME. I’m going to have so so so many tissues on hand for this season. Deep down inside of me I’d always hoped that the two of them would be able to overcome their history and they’d get married and have kids and live forever. Sigh.

CT and Diem; MTV The Challenge: Battle of the Exes 2 //

The MTV Real World crew seems like a big dysfunctional family, and I cannot imagine how difficult it is for them to re-watch this season, knowing that it is the last time they’ve competed with Diem and Knight. My heart goes out to the whole Real World family in the next few months.

MTV The Real World: Skeletons
I’m just behind honest here. I watch this show. I will never in my life be emotionally attached to people like that in my life. The girl, Madison, is seriously the most oblivious person I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I don’t know how the girl in the house are friends with her. And what kind of sick person decided the twist in this season of RW should be to find people the house mates have problems with… and have them move in for awhile? That’s just cruel.

Criminal Minds //
Oh JJ. Poor, sweet JJ. I’d actually completely forgot about when she was tortured. One of the things I love the most about the show is continuity. They don’t just magically make the characters “get over” rough situations – they might not constantly talk about them, but every so often the side effects of trauma come up.

But Jennifer Love Hewitt – GET OFF MY TV SHOW!!!! Criminal Minds is actually my favorite show, and I just can’t stand JLH. While I usually love the writers’ plots and character development, it feels like JLH was forced on us and I DON’ T LIKE HER!!!!!

Law & Order SVU //
// #5. LAW & ORDER: SVU
Woah. Okay first of all, Raúl Esparza is so handsome. He might be the only reason I continued watching the show post-Stabler. Second of all. This episode. Holy Shia LeBouf with the paper bag/#ACCUSED thing. and teenage girls are cray cray, especially when borderline handsome celebrities are involved.

Missing from my lineup is Pretty Little Liars. I seriously just cannot at the current moment. It’s just too much of a burden. I get too mad. Like…. REALLY mad. Because they’re all idiots who just need to call the police when they find a dead body. I’m sure I’ll catch up on it soon. :)

Do any of you watch any of these shows? I just want more people to talk to about shows. I already text Kristen about The Bachelor every Tuesday (and in two episodes WE WILL WATCH IT TOGETHER IN NASHVILLE) but seriously. Let’s discuss.

The Grits Blog - Little Friday Linkup

What I’ve been wearing {2}

It’s been darn near two weeks since Mary-Keith and I started our daily outfit of the day instagram challenge. How the HECK do fashion bloggers take a quadzillion pictures of themselves!? I’m starting to feel SO VAIN and SOOOO annoying. Hopefully my friends will still like me after this month!

Here’s what I’ve been wearing:

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 7th.
Channelled my inner-Valentine’s Day.

Shoes – Target
Pants & shirt – Lauren Conrad
Cardigan – Thrifted {the buttons are my FAVE!}

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 8th.
Took this picture before the sun was up – my dad and I put our weekly Pines Coffee dates on hold for Christmas, but now we’re starting them back up and I really missed them.

Shoes & sweater – H&M
Pants – Lauren Conrad

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 9th.
Worked late at church. The cool story is that as I left, the FRONT DOOR HANDLE fell off!! So I kept it in my car all weekend, haha.

Shoes – American Eagle {here… and they’re less than $15!}
Jeans – Lauren Conrad
Shirt  – H&M {here… $7!}
Elephant necklace – Lauren Conrad, a gift from Kristen the last time I visited Nashville. Wearing it keeps Kristen close to my heart :)

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 10th.
Spent all morning at Cathedral Coffee with my friend Stacy and finished the evening sitting in Taco Time with one of my best friends, Claire, who was in town for the evening. It was SO GOOD for my soul.

Shoes – Target
Leggings & sweater – Lauren Conrad {sweater // $14.99!}

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 11th.
Sunday morning. Church. In October I remember telling Ryan that I used to wear dresses like EVERY DAY and he asked me why I stopped. I think about that a LOT. Like every day I get dressed I think about it. So I finally decided to pull out my dresses even though it is ultra cold. Praise God for leggings!

Shoes: Betseyville
Leggings: Lauren Conrad
Dress: Thrifted
Cardigan: Gap {thrifted}
Necklace: Disneyland!!

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 12th.
Listen. I don’t even care that my pants are kind of like a grandma couch. I love them.

Shoes: Thrifted
Pants, blue shirt & cardigan: Lauren Conrad
Necklace: from Freely in Hope

stephanieorefice.netJanuary 13th
After over a month of a break, we started up our youth programs again. The break was really good – even though Christmas was exhausting, I was excited to come back with a fresh outlook on the time we have with the kids.

Shoes: American Eagle
Pants: Lauren Conrad
Thermal: Kohls
T-shirt: The Salvation Army Moore Street {it’s my staff shirt}

stephanieorefice.netstephanieorefice.netJanuary 14th.
I woke up early for coffee with my dad, a trip to the car dealership and an auto parts store. The fun life of a grown up, right? and then I found out… I didn’t have to work like I thought I did so I IMMEDIATELY went home and changed. Then I changed back into non-slacker clothes because I went back in public. And you know what? I couldn’t find the cardigan ANYWHERE. at all. It’s completely missing. I’m so confused. Anyway. That’s why there are TWO outfit posts for this day.

Outfit 1:
Shoes – Gap
Pants & shirt – Lauren Conrad
Cardigan – Tommy Hilfiger
Necklace – Charming Charlies

Outfit 2:
Shoes – American Eagle {I LOOVE THESE SHOES}
Leggings (fleece-lined!) – VS Pink {HERE! THEY ARE PERFECT!
Shirt – thrifted

Sooo I wear a LOT of Lauren Conrad, it appears! Hahaha. This I already knew, though. and the American Eagle shoes! and the leggings. Y’all, I could LIIIIVEEEE in them.

There’s still time to join in with us! Post your outfit pics on instagram and add the hashtag kissmyselfimsopretty15 :)

BoxyCharm Box Review

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

If you follow me on instagram, you might have caught on that I love subscription box services. Especially beauty ones. Because let’s be real…. I have no idea how a person is supposed to know what products to buy and try, and with the price of many beauty products… there’s a huge commitment involved in that!

BoxyCharm review //

When I was given the opportunity to receive a BoxyCharm Box for review, I was so excited!

BoxyCharm is a monthly beauty subscription. For $21/month, you get 4-5 full size products sent to you each month. Seeing as how most of the beauty products I use cost $20-$36ish dollars each, this is a great deal – it definitely pays for itself! I love the idea of full size products as opposed to samples. How do you really know if you love something if you can only use it once or twice?

I LOVED the packaging. It was so cute, girly and inviting. I was SO excited to tear into it and see what  was waiting for me!

BoxyCharm Box Review //

Inside the BoxyCharm box was an eyeshadow palette, fake lashes, a retractable beauty brush, a lip crayon, and a bottle of hairspray.

The box was full of products that were relevant and have become a part of my daily routine (okay, except for the false lashes because that’s not really my thing). The eyeshadow palette is full of nude colors, which is what I tend to wear on my eyes. Since I travel often, I love having a retractable brush handy so that I don’t have to worry about throwing it in with my toiletries and having it get all nasty. And even though I have been curling my hair a lot lately, I don’t actually own hair spray!

BoxyCharm Box Review //

Have you ever heard of BoxyCharm before?
Do you currently subscribe to any box subscriptions? and if so, which ones!?

I was offered the opportunity to review BoxyCharm thanks to BrandBacker.

Now is the new later.

now is the new later //

Sometimes we have this tendency to put things off until we feel we’re ready or fully prepared to deal with them. We wait until the start of a new year, month, week or day before we _____________. You know what belongs on that line for yourself. I know what belongs on that line for myself.

We’re wasting our precious moments away when we do that. The moment we are in becomes less desirable, productive, and important because we say it is not worthy of our energy and passion.

I’ve been really convicted by this idea for the past month or so – I ALWAYS think “that will start tomorrow,” or “when I get back from the trip I’m taking next week” or “with my next paycheck….” and every time, it cheapens every moment between now and that THING I think will be the key to my success.

That THING is called NOW, because tomorrow I’ll wake up and be faced with a NOW that I can choose to accept or reject, and if I don’t start to train myself in the habit of now, I’ll end up with a string of unfulfilled hopes and I will ask myself “why didn’t I do that?”

Every so often I get on this “I should lose some weight” kick. and I look at before/after pictures of people like on instagram and I think back to what I was doing 6 weeks ago and see what they’ve accomplished in 6 weeks and wonder why I didn’t start 6 weeks ago – and if I start today, what would I have to show for 6 weeks…. and then I rarely start. I think “tomorrow.” or “next week.” and then 6 weeks pass and I see another picture of that person who embraced NOW and they continue to look different, while I stay the same.

I think it’s easy to talk about with things like weight loss, budgeting… things you can SEE, but there’s this huge pool of unseen habits and vices waiting to be tackled. I’m currently working on figuring out the best cleaning schedule for myself because I don’t work well in chaos. and I guess I should admit that while I sit here encouraging all of you to take on NOW with full force – I haven’t used my NOW’s to make a cleaning schedule or put stamps on letters or respond to e-mails.

Our discipline won’t magically appear next Monday, February 1st, or tomorrow morning when my alarm goes off. Our discipline is exercised in the ordinary moments that don’t always feel fresh and new.

And with that… I’m off to take on the day.

The Fig Leaves of Shame.

The fig leaves of shame - Genesis 3 //

There’s no simple way to put this. I have OCD. Most days I have OCD, and some days it feels like OCD has me. The thing that sucks about OCD is that it’s become an adjective. People will say “I’m so OCD about my books,” or they’ll say “I’m a little OCD sometimes.”

It’s hard to talk about, because most of the times people say really offensive things and try to relate and I end up feeling like a steaming pile of crap because nobody understands the struggle. I have one friend who does, because she herself has OCD. Like actual OCD. The first time I heard about her, our mutual friends were asking about OCD because their friend Jess had this THING about matching socks and it was driving them crazy and they were so annoyed they were thinking of wearing mismatched socks just to make her mad. and I almost drove my car into oncoming traffic because I realized that my friends – people that love me and cherish me – had NO IDEA about the monster that I live with.

Some days I really wish that OCD had some sort of physical manifestation, you know? Like people would say “oh your arm is looking awfully green today,” and I could say “yeah that’s my OCD, it acts up sometimes.”

Well guess what. There actually is a physical manifestation of my OCD but it’s grosser than a green arm. I think it is, at least. Scabs. On my legs and on my scalp. and I’m going to let you piece the rest of it together because I hate the messy details of compulsions. It makes me feel like I should be on MTV’s True Life: I’m a weirdo.

This past summer my aunt noticed my legs. She asked if I had a lot of mosquito bites. I said no, stared at her blankly and then changed the subject. Super awkward, but I felt like the bravest person in the world just because I didn’t lie.

Last Thursday, one of my friends noticed my OCD and suddenly I had one of those “my OCD has me” days. Which sucks because you know what happens when I get overwhelmed? I want to hide in a dark room and engage in compulsions (the C part of OCD) until I feel I have some sort of control over my life again, and then I want to cut out everyone who might have caught wind of my OCD and then start fresh with new people who still think I’m okay because they have heard of my OCD but never gotten too close to it.

I cried. A lot. and I listened to If You Can Hear Me, the Ben Rector song that is always my prayer from the bottom of the OCD pit. and I started down the path of the dark room/compulsion/cutting someone out of my life idea.

and then I remembered what I had been thinking about all day. The day before, Wednesday, I’d read the part about Adam and Eve and the fig leaves. In the margins of my Bible I’d written (in regards to the fig leaves) “man’s poor attempt to deal with the shame of sin.”

The immediate response to sin is SHAME. GUILT. COVERING. HIDING. REJECTING. I mean, not only did Adam and Eve cover their gender bits, they then HID. So they covered AND hid. and then God – our merciful God – came for them, like he always does. They had a talk about what had happened, and then.

THEN COMES ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DISPLAYS OF MERCY THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED. Seriously, when I read this in my Bible I get overwhelmed.

God clothed Adam and Eve. He did away with their fig leaves and made them new garments. I think the sin thing sucked and then the double hiding part double sucked. So he at least did away with the hiding part. Like.. yeah you sinned. Stop hiding, because I still want to be with you.

Cut to me sitting on the floor of my bathroom, wishing I didn’t have to remove someone from my life because they had noticed the most shameful part of who I am. and I realized…. I don’t have to. God never undid the sin part. He never made Adam and Eve unsee their nakedness. He just dealt with the shame of it and comforted that part. Shame is the part that pushes us away from people. Shame is the thing that keeps me from God. Isn’t that why we’re always trying to clean up our mess before we approach him? God doesn’t want me to hide behind the fig leaves of shame. He wants to engage with me and then cover me.

So I decided to stop hiding. From my God and from my people. I had shared this whole struggle with Mary-Keith, and then I prayed about it, and immediately made the phone call because I knew if I didn’t present myself in God’s garments of bravery, I’d quickly change back into the fig leaves of shame and lose someone important to me over something so dumb. I prepared myself for the worst, because even though God clothed Adam and Eve…. they still had to leave the garden. God didn’t undo the sin, remember? I prepared myself to be told that I’m a huge weirdo or for me to weenie out before I could be brave. But it ended alright. I went to sleep early and thanked God for caring about me enough to help me deal with the parts of me that send me diving behind every bush I can find like a scared rabbit.

I guess the question is – what are the shameful parts that you’re covering with fig leaves? and God WANTS to clothe you and will send you somewhere – where is it that he wants you to model the garments of mercy he’s made for you?

A Biblical explanation of why guys are totally clueless

boys are clueless, period. //

If you’ve been reading my blog AT ALL, you might have picked up on the fact that I really like a boy. In case you need to be caught up, I blogged about it

Okay good, now you’re all caught up.

Mary-Keith is earning ALL THE JEWELS in her Heaven crown because she is my #1 go-to person whenever he says my name or acknowledges my existence.

Today I texted her this screenshot because it’s literally the most accurate thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life… today.

stupid idiot boys //

Last week I was at Rhoda’s house and her parents (who I love!) were telling me about their first date and when they were dating and her dad was really blunt and he said “you’ve gotta tell guys how it is. We’re just stupid sometimes.” and he kept saying that boys just don’t get it.

I keep thinking “if this boy is interested, he’ll do something. I’m not playing games or trying super hard to hide anything, so I can just kind of…. wait.”

Then I’m reading my Bible. Because I’ll be honest. I’m gonna read the whole thing in 2015… I just hadn’t started. and I’ve read through Genesis so many times that I tend to move kind of slowly through it so that it’s new to me. Okay good, now that I’ve admitted how far behind I am on  my reading plan….

So I get to the part in Genesis 2 about God and Adam and Eve. You know. God makes Adam, puts him in the garden, tells him the rules and then GOD (NOT ADAM) says “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper.” but then he puts Adam to work.

Then Adam gets to work and there’s no helper for Adam (I wrote more about that here). Okay. Now we’re to the good stuff. The explanation.

The Bible explanation for why guys are totally clueless.

#1. GOD said it wasn’t good for the man to be alone, not MAN.
Sometimes the guy isn’t even looking for it. He’s not on the hunt or on the prowl; he has healthy, fulfilling friendships and a solid trust in God and God’s timing. In the beginning God created the earth, formless and empty. It is God himself who often creates the NOTHING space to be filled with the SOMETHING he has in mind. So maybe guys are clueless because God hasn’t yet created the NOTHING space.

#2. So the LORD GOD caused the man to fall into a deep sleep…
The man slept through the whole God creating a woman thing. This was probably the grace of God, because God understands women and men… um… don’t always. I wonder if God had a little talk with Eve after she was created. Like did they look at sleepy Adam and God kind of caught her up on creation, or something? Who knows. The point is, Adam slept through the whole creation of Eve. He was so out of it.

#3. Then The LORD GOD… brought her to the man.
I’m not going to go on a tangent about pursuer/pursue-e or anything, but God didn’t hide Eve from Adam. There was no pursuit, no games, no nothing. God created Adam, put him down for a nap… created Eve, and then brought her to him. Adam could have spent his whole life searching the Garden for his match, but if she hadn’t been created the whole thing would have been in vain. God didn’t create  the heartache, the games, the wait. He straight up did not create that. God created the NOTHING space. Then he filled it and presented it.

Maybe guys are clueless (to an extent) because they were never created to pick up on clues and hints and subtleties. Maybe God never whispered “Adam, if she laughs at your stupid jokes she probably wants to be flesh of your flesh.” and maybe God never said to Eve, “don’t text him back right away, and try to be busy so he doesn’t think you’re too desperate, and maybe to be a huge ball of confusion joke about setting him up with your friends.”

I’ve been wrestling with the whole “what is the point of telling the boy I like that I like him” thing, and all the advice in the world hasn’t convicted me like this simple Scripture that I’ve read a gazillion times before. Maybe the point isn’t because I want to pursue, or I want to make a move or anything. Maybe the point of telling him is because I need to trust that God started the whole guy/girl husband/wife dynamic not by pursuit but by a simple bringing of one to the other.

I guess it’s time to stop eating gluten free cookie dough and listening to sad songs all the time and start praying about letting God bring me to him, whether it is for the end result I want or even just for developing my faith muscles. And on a scale of 4-2958, I am -5 excited about that. Prayers appreciated.


What I’ve been wearing… lots of Lauren Conrad (always)

As part of the 12×30 challenge for this month, which has the theme of LOVE YOURSELF, Mary-Keith and I are taking pictures of what we wear every day and posting them on Instagram. Here’s what I’ve been wearing.

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset
January 1, 2015.
I was at camp. I had Ellen, who is 4, take a picture of me. She full on directed a photo shoot. This is me thinking. Maybe I’m thinking about the baby it looks like I’m about to have. Oh well.

Shoes, pants & Sweater: LC Lauren Conrad
Sweater: Juicy Couture {thrifted}
January 2, 2015
Rhoda and I drove back from camp. I was like “take a picture so I can go take a shower.” haha.

Shoes: Merona
Jeans: LC Lauren Conrad
Flannel: Thrifted
Pink vest: Old Navy
January 3, 2015
WEDDING! {3rd of 5 for my 101 in 1001}

Boots: LC Lauren Conrad
Dress: eShakti {thrifted}
Cardigan: Old Navy
January 4, 2015

Shoes: Urban Outfitters
Pants: LC Lauren Conrad
Shirt: thrifted
Cardigan: LC Lauren Conrad
January 5, 2015

This outfit. So cozy. The sweater is SO SOFT.

Shoes:  Roxy {thrifted. I think they’re actually slippers}
Pants: LC Lauren Conrad {available here}
Sweater: LC Lauren Conrad {available here}
January 6, 2015

I woke up and felt like I was going to throw up, so I called my dentist and cancelled my appointment because let’s be real… that sounds like a really bad story in the making. I didn’t throw up, just laid around feeling crummy for a bit and then I got bored of that so I got dressed.

Shoes: Converse {I’ve had this pair for over 10 years!}
Jeans: LC Lauren Conrad
Flannel: thrifted
Sweater: VS Pink

January Goals

january goals //

December flew by so quickly, I think because I was so busy. It’s only a few days into January but I’ve been enjoying my free time – I’ve been quick to make plans to hang out with people and I have been grateful to have so much wiggle room with when to make that all happen.

Here are the goals I set for myself in December and how I did on them:

  • Send 20 Christmas cards
    {did it, blogged about it}
  • Finish Krystin’s birthday/Christmas gift and send it with her Christmas card
    {I actually sent Krystin’s card before I even remembered this! But I did work on it, so maybe I’ll be able to deliver it to her soon}
  • Get on top of all the things I need to do with my blog… like scheduling posts and commenting on other blogs more consistently and… stuff.
  • Go to Zoo Lights at least once.
    Did it. Loved it. Even rode the train :)
  • Link my 101 to my blog.
    It’s up there!! 
  • Plan a trip to Nashville
    T minus 16 days. :) 

4/6 isn’t too bad at all. More than half :)

For January:

  • Stay caught up with my Bible in a year plan.
  • Finish coloring a coloring book for Travis & give it to him
  • Sell some stuff on Vinted or eBay.
  • Paint my toenails. It’s the little things.
  • Make a cleaning schedule and stick to it.

I’m learning to be realistic about my goals. Goals shouldn’t necessarily be the things you wish you did if you were a new person. Sometimes they are small steps to get you to be more like who you want to be, but I think that unrealistic goals set ourselves up for failure. Unrealistic goals are called Dreams. Goals are the steps to get to those. If that makes sense. Don’t mind my Monday morning ramblings. I’m gonna go buy coffee now.

Linking up with  Motivational Monday.

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