God’s got some big plans for my summer, and I am so excited. When I say it’s become painfully obvious in the past few weeks that God’s got something great in store, the emphasis is on the word painfully.

The theme for our church this summer is “What’s your story?” and focusing on Abraham. We talked about it in Bible Study on Monday, and one of the points brought up was that you know you’re on the right path when there is resistance. and let me tell you. The past three or four weeks have been full of resistance, opposition and spiritual warfare in my life. My sleep has been attacked not only by not happening but also by being filled with nightmares when it does happen. And no sleep equals conflict. It just happens.

Yesterday was a battle.
and I wish I could really explain how awful it was. I really wish I could, but my words will fail me. My journey through Scripture is currently in Job, and yesterday as I sat in my room exhausted from the battle, victorious in Christ but still beaten up, I read the following words and felt peace in my soul:

Surely, O God, you have worn me out. {Job 16:7}

Because the whole thing was centered around my desire to love God not with my words or my actions but with my life, with my being. and that was challenged. and brought up. The battle was not me and someone else. The battle was the world and God, and I got caught in the crossfire.

I went to the worship night at church. Came home, poured myself into Scripture and fell asleep with these words in my head:

My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God. {Job 16:20}

Most of today has been spent in my bed, crying and feeling sore and resting in the healing power of knowing God is. I’ve been in my bed, shut off from the world, BEing. I awoke from my second {or fourth….} nap of the day to a phone call bringing help. and hope. because I am not alone in this. I am one person who knows a few more people who know more people who come from a history of a lot more people who have laid their lives at the feet of God who takes small offerings like the lives of his children and uses them as funnels to fill his world with himself. Let that be said of me.

I don’t understand God. To say I do would be the biggest lie of my life. I believe that God is who he says he is, “I AM WHO I AM,” being all the truth of God I can stand to stomach on any given day. My lack of understanding is the root of my faith these days, because it sends me to God with no expectations other than God himself.

The sum of everything I have gone through in the past 28 or so hours are the words of the apostle Paul:

What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?

This will be quite a summer…………