Today I said “hey I’m going to go to Starbucks and work on blog stuff.” and Justen joined me. Then he gave me a zillion suggestions of things I should blog about while I sat here shooting down all of his ideas and maybe whispering a few cuss words under my breath. I’m not even kidding. This is the current situation (and he’s the one drinking the big pink drink, not me. He is apparently coffeed out, whatever that means).
Then I stumbled upon this massive list of things to blog about. One of them was an anti-bucket list. and I was like… yeah. That’s me. I can just blog about dumb-ish stuff until I have really important things to blog about. If that ever happens.
So here it is.
My anti-bucket list.
aka things I will never do.
- Skydive
I will never understand why someone would ever willingly mess with gravity. Gravity can destroy you. I will never understand skydiving. - Cut my hair short
It’s not for me. Some people look really cute with short hair. I don’t think I’d be one of them, nor do I care to find out if I’m right or not. - Eat weird stuff
The other day I had sushi for lunch and as I read the options I was like “EEL?!” yeah no. If they don’t serve an over processed version of it at McDonalds, I won’t eat it. - Drink my coffee black for long periods of time
This is America and I put cream in my coffee. When people talk about going on diets or whatever I tend to think it doesn’t apply to cream in my coffee. That’s fair, right? - Wear a bikini
First of all, I don’t think other people want to see me in a bikini. Second of  all, I’m at the age in my life (oh gosh I’m old) where the thought of a bikini seems kind of weird. It’s basically like going out in socially acceptable underwear. No thanks. - Ride a motorcycle
The road is dangerous even in a car. I’m sometimes worried about other drivers when I’m in a car, so when I see people on motorcycles weaving in and out of traffic with nothing but a helmet to protect them, I just get freaked out. No way Jose (or whatever your name is). - High ropes courses
You know challenge courses and how they have elements that are up in the air and you’re supposed to overcome your fears and do them with your team cheering you on? Yeah y’all can lose your voices cheering because I like my feet planted firmly on the ground because of #1. - Spend more than $50 on a pair of jeans
Ever. Props to those of you that have and do and will, but I like to find my jeans at thrift stores. $20 on a pair of jeans is splurging for me. - Hold a tarantula
Call me a coward, but I’m not getting anywhere near big hairy spiders. Make fun of me all you want. I’ll even turn your words into a shirt and proudly wear it. Never ever ever will I willingly let a tarantula touch any part of my body. - Understand cloud platforms
I just don’t get them. I like things to be tangible and so the idea of my stuff somehow being up in the air is confusing and frustrating to me. Justen tried to tell me about cloud the other day while we were at Best Buy and I literally covered my ears.. like a grown up.
- Watch Pretty Little Liars ever again
I started watching that show after I finished Gossip Girl and someone said I’d love it. I hate that show so much. It is the dumbest show in the entire world and I will never again waste my time watching that show (though I do often catch up on it thanks to Wikipedia updates) - Highlight/contour
Y’all I just don’t get the whole highlight/contour thing. It seems like a lot of work to make yourself look different from the way everyone already knows you look. To each their own, but it’s not mine.
YOUR TURN. Have you done/do you want to do any of these things? What’s on your anti-bucket list?!
Okay, a few things…
So first, the cloud isn’t really up in the air, it’s just somebody else’s servers. Your files are saved on large servers that can be accessed. And these servers are a network of computers that store and process your info, which means you can usually get to it fast but without having to save it on your own computer. It’s pretty magical.
I also felt totally similar to you about jeans but then I started working for Nordstrom (RIP, my discount) and I bought a pair of $70 jeans and my wallet cried but my butt looked amazing and the jeans are in amazing shape. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I’m JUST thinking about cutting my hair short, but you’re making me rethink it!
who has the computers? where are they? could i go see my pictures on their computers? haha. i seriously just don’t understand it all lol
okay maybe i have to re-think my jeans strategy. definitely better to have an amazing pair of jeans than fifty so-so pairs. sometimes i just go for anything that can button without too much of a struggle and doesn’t drag on my heels lol and moment of silence for your nordstrom discount.
how short were you going to cut it?!
love this idea! i completely don’t get highlighting either!
OR contouring! hahaha
PLL is so ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop watching it (though GG is a million times better)– and speaking of PLL, seeing aria with short hair made me want to cut my hair short for like .5 seconds and then I realized it would never actually look that good on me.
just do that fake short hair thing where you put your hair in a ponytail and fold it over and bobby pin it down ahaha. i think i remember reading that in 17 magazine or something.
i just started wikipedia-ing what was happening with PLL so i could just waste like 3 minutes instead of hooouuuurrrssssss at a time.
I’ve always wanted to skydive but as I get older I know I’d never actually do it! And girl, SO with you on PLL. I’ll never get all that time back!!!
imagine if you’d spent that time planning to skydive instead of watching PLL. i’d probably rather jump out of a plane than watch PLL ever again at this point ahaha
I love this post! It feels so much more honest and refreshing than a list of things you want to do but probably will never get around to doing (at least that’s what I feel bucket lists are). I also feel very strongly about never holding a tarantula. I hate, hate, hate all things bug-like (insects, spiders, etc.) and can barely stand being in a room where they’re encased in something. As much as I love the idea of travelling to Australia or New Zealand at some point in my life, my hatred of bugs is also why I could probably add travel to either country to my own anti-bucket list. I would just be way too paranoid and anxious the whole time.
oh yeah. bucket lists are also kind of depressing. there’s no goal. there’s no end. it’s like “Before i die, whenever that may be…” that’s why i love the 101 lists. not that i’m awesome at those either, lol!
bahahaha okay your anti-bugness is extreme, girl! but yea if i ever SAW a massive spider or something… done. i’d be so done.
I would do/always do #2, because I am a short hair kinda person. I don’t like my hair long. And I might do #7 if I had the chance, because those places typically have harnesses and you aren’t actually meant to fall in the same way skydiving is like falling on purpose. All of the rest–nope, never.
yeah i guess i see your point on the high ropes course. i feel like i just hate the idea of not having my feet firmly planted on the ground. and i think people who can rock short hair should rock short hair. i’ve seen a few pictures of me with short-er hair and think… so glad it never got shorter than that. but crazy to me that you don’t like your hair long! why?
THIS IS AWESOME! This reminds me of your “10 Blog Posts I Want To Read” which was also so funny and relatable. I’m with you, and I’m never ever paying more than $20 for jeans, thanks to the thrift stores.
but sarah down there said she bought a pair of spendy jeans that made her butt look amazing. my butt just always looks flat. MAYBE it’s worth it.