Today I said “hey I’m going to go to Starbucks and work on blog stuff.” and Justen joined me. Then he gave me a zillion suggestions of things I should blog about while I sat here shooting down all of his ideas and maybe whispering a few cuss words under my breath. I’m not even kidding. This is the current situation (and he’s the one drinking the big pink drink, not me. He is apparently coffeed out, whatever that means).
Then I stumbled upon this massive list of things to blog about. One of them was an anti-bucket list. and I was like… yeah. That’s me. I can just blog about dumb-ish stuff until I have really important things to blog about. If that ever happens.
So here it is.
My anti-bucket list.
aka things I will never do.
I will never understand why someone would ever willingly mess with gravity. Gravity can destroy you. I will never understand skydiving.
- Cut my hair short
It’s not for me. Some people look really cute with short hair. I don’t think I’d be one of them, nor do I care to find out if I’m right or not.
- Eat weird stuff
The other day I had sushi for lunch and as I read the options I was like “EEL?!” yeah no. If they don’t serve an over processed version of it at McDonalds, I won’t eat it.
- Drink my coffee black for long periods of time
This is America and I put cream in my coffee. When people talk about going on diets or whatever I tend to think it doesn’t apply to cream in my coffee. That’s fair, right?
- Wear a bikini
First of all, I don’t think other people want to see me in a bikini. Second of all, I’m at the age in my life (oh gosh I’m old) where the thought of a bikini seems kind of weird. It’s basically like going out in socially acceptable underwear. No thanks.
- Ride a motorcycle
The road is dangerous even in a car. I’m sometimes worried about other drivers when I’m in a car, so when I see people on motorcycles weaving in and out of traffic with nothing but a helmet to protect them, I just get freaked out. No way Jose (or whatever your name is).
- High ropes courses
You know challenge courses and how they have elements that are up in the air and you’re supposed to overcome your fears and do them with your team cheering you on? Yeah y’all can lose your voices cheering because I like my feet planted firmly on the ground because of #1.
- Spend more than $50 on a pair of jeans
Ever. Props to those of you that have and do and will, but I like to find my jeans at thrift stores. $20 on a pair of jeans is splurging for me.
- Hold a tarantula
Call me a coward, but I’m not getting anywhere near big hairy spiders. Make fun of me all you want. I’ll even turn your words into a shirt and proudly wear it. Never ever ever will I willingly let a tarantula touch any part of my body.
- Understand cloud platforms
I just don’t get them. I like things to be tangible and so the idea of my stuff somehow being up in the air is confusing and frustrating to me. Justen tried to tell me about cloud the other day while we were at Best Buy and I literally covered my ears.. like a grown up.
- Watch Pretty Little Liars ever again
I started watching that show after I finished Gossip Girl and someone said I’d love it. I hate that show so much. It is the dumbest show in the entire world and I will never again waste my time watching that show (though I do often catch up on it thanks to Wikipedia updates)
Y’all I just don’t get the whole highlight/contour thing. It seems like a lot of work to make yourself look different from the way everyone already knows you look. To each their own, but it’s not mine.
YOUR TURN. Have you done/do you want to do any of these things? What’s on your anti-bucket list?!