fully

Yesterday I was on my knees, praying for the strength to tackle the rest of spring. Spring, for all of its new life and growth and rejuvenation has always been marked with unexpected death. At least it has for me, since the 8th grade.

So I look into the face of grief, wade through the wake of death and wonder how to live with the reality of mortality.

The answer hit me today.

Fully. 

We live fully with the reality that we are all born fully inflated balloons with a tiny hole. Our lives are slowly deflating, the days daily coming closer to an end.

And so we run. Boldly and without abandon, into the messiness of life. We get tangled up in love and in people, allowing ourselves to be woven together with other people in good and bad, but not fearing the knot.

I try to live this way every day, but some days the expiration  date of life is painfully more in focus than other days. We are called to quick prayer for someone who is in the hospital, who has quickly departed, or who is bracing themselves for goodbye.

Right now I am praying for all three above and in the same breath praying that those of us who remain alive and well can also find the strength to live alive, well and fully.