after camp, day 1.

A few weeks ago a few of us sat on a porch in Pod 2. We talked about our summers. What we learned.

My lesson hadn’t been learned yet, just made clear. Sometimes your lessons are immediate. You go through something and on the other side realize that your patience grew or you were more bold than you could have ever imagined. But sometimes you go through something and nothing really changes and that is where the lesson begins.

Madeleine L’Engle once said or wrote {I’m not sure which one} that the deeper and more rich a character or person is, the more paradox it will have. I’ve clung to that quote to explain myself for awhile. It’s hard to live in this strange place of loving fun and adventure and flowers and the wind in my hair and pink and glitter… and yet being too critical, irritable, sensitive and short-tempered. I don’t even make much sense to myself.

This summer, more than ever in my life, I hated the worst parts of me. and I don’t want to become the worst parts of me. I’m alright if they are never ending weeds that I constantly am dealing with, but I don’t want to be caring for a bunch of them.

I guess I’m learning a lesson in gardening.