The other day during cabin quiet time I was laying on Emily’s bed and suddenly I had this crazy thought. If my leg got smashed in by a crazy deer, would Bradley know how to fix it? Fortunately I didn’t have to wonder very long because I then ran into Brad (not literally) and asked him and he told me what would happen, though he did make me agree to not sue him if that ever hypothetically happened.
I’m learning about unrequited love and what that does to me. By love, I am pretty sure I mean infatuation, but that’s alright. Yesterday I was walking around, sighing and throwing my hands up in the air about it all. As I was going to the bathroom (where many of my best ideas and thoughts are born) I thought to myself “Self, you are not that bad.” So I walked back into the room I’d just left and declared that one day I would like someone who didn’t like another girl more than me, but they liked me more than other girls. That would make all of my sighs and thrown hands worth it.
When I originally started this blog on July 14th, I’d told my friend Sarah that I’d write all about her in it. So here, let me tell you about my friend Sarah. My first memory of Sarah was years ago when we were both assigned to clean the Nature Center. Somehow we were beginning to come up with theories on effective ways for girls to use urinals. These days, she is just a really great friend (though I’m not sure we’ve ever concluded the best girl urinal use). She is mature and funny, full of life and determination. You ever have a friend that you just feel fortunate to know, because you can feel that your life is better because you’re their friend? That’s how I feel about Sarah.
God frequently takes his time in teaching me something. An idea or thought or question will pop up, and then he will create opportunities to dive into it over the course of a few months. In retrospect, I always relate a period of time with a specific thing I’ve learned or been taught or pondered.
This summer, the two things that have come up over and over again are God’s will and God’s strength. I’ve spent much time in conversation with people about what it means to remain in God’s will, and how God’s will impacts our lives. Steve Kastama gave me the best analogy. We were standing around at the Kastama’s place one Sunday afternoon, and he compared God’s will to making sandwiches. We frequently find ourselves at what we perceive to be a crossroad, and we say “Which way do you want me to go, Lord?” American or cheddar? Ham or turkey? Wheat or white? The reality of it is that God sets out a variety of ingredients and frequently allows us to put our own sandwich together. “American or cheddar?” we ask him, and his response is “make a sandwich!”
Is this not what parents do? The idea of raising a child isn’t to dictate who they will be or what they decide, but is to instill in them the beliefs and characteristics that are conducive with good, wise decision making. Rob Birks once told someone about how if you love your father, everything you do is within his will, because you are making decisions based on what he would have you do. Your father’s will isn’t to have you make every small decision in the same way he would; it is instead that you’d make your own decisions that reflect who he is and what he has taught you. The same with our Father.
Even within the will of God, though, we can make mistakes. If we are incredibly hungry and then take two pieces of bread and put one slice of cheese in the middle, we cannot complain to the Lord that our hunger has not ceased. He gave us the options, and we made a foolish choice. It allows our suffering to still be within his will, but not necessarily because of his choice.
When I shared this with my friend Sarah (whom I wrote about earlier) she was able to relate it to where she is now. She declared “It’s my sandwich, and I want four pickles on it!”
My brain gets fuzzy easily. God is blessing me by unraveling my thoughts and really taking the time to allow me to understand him and his ways. To know that God invests in me like that is the greatest feeling in the entire world. Unrequited love seems foolish and unimportant when compared to the fact that the Creator of all is walking alongside me and teaching me and living with me.
I’ll write more on God’s strength later, but I wanted to leave these pictures with you. Mejee and Matt took some pictures of camp that are absolutely beautiful.. they more accurately capture the beauty of camp 🙂
