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Guess I’ll circle while I’m waiting for my fuse to dry.

Since the fall, life has been crazy. It’s been insane.

I’ve learned the art of dreaming; of seeing the endless possibilities for my ideas.

Yesterday I was driving home from Seattle and I was really upset about life, and the direction I’m heading. My friend Ernie called. We were originally going to talk about his upcoming trip to Africa with Mocha Club, but then he asked how I’ve been doing. Not a single fiber of my being had the ability to lie, and I just expressed to him how I’m doing.

Ernie is brave. He is doing what he loves, and he is doing it with every single ounce of energy he has.

I love alliterations. They’re eay to remember. Here’s one he gave me, outlining the keys to getting where you want to be:

Patience.
Persistence.
Postive.

..and Prayer is good.

The first one is what I’ve been thinking about; being patient with myself. I’m still growing, still learning, still trying to figure it all out. That is okay.

—–

I mentioned that I was leaving Seattle. Emily came and spent some time with me. It was so fun. Prior to her arrival, I said that what I loved was that Em and I could watch TV the whole time and still have a blast. We ended up watching One Tree Hill for a substantial amount of time.

You can see a bit of it from Emily’s POV here: http://emilygrace-365daysofphotos.blogspot.com/

—–

It’s been awhile since I posted.. here are some pictures from our weekend at Bible Bowl. Click them and they will become bigger. Oh, we made it to the finals. Vancouver vs Spokane. Exciting!

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Book Update.

For my very first entry, I made a list of books to read. Time to cross some off, hooray! I decided today that I will try to read one book every week. Seems like a good idea.

Two Part Invention by Madeleine L’Engle
Soul Virgins by Doug Rosenau & Michael Todd Wilson
Girls’ Ministry 101 by Whitney Prosperi
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Lord Save Us from Your Followers by Dan Merchant
The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne
And Both Were Young by Madeleine L’Engle
Love Walked In by Marisa De Los Santos
Upside Down by Benny Perez
Into the Great Wide Open by Kevin Canty
The Shack by William P. Young
Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado
Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell

I’m so going to get through this list.. this is exciting. I added the last book because it’s the book I’m reading now. That may be cheating, but oh well. 🙂

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Fork or Spoon?

My mom packs my lunch. I’m not ashamed to admit that. I am 23 years old, and my mom still packs my lunch.Sometimes she even brings me dinner when I am home. Yesterday she brought me a bowl of macaroni casserole, and she gave me a spoon to eat it with. “Mom” I replied, “this is something you eat with a fork.”

So this afternoon when I anxiously peered into the Starbucks bag holding my lunch,  I was a bit annoyed to find a plastic spoon accompanying my leftovers from yesterday’s casserole. Maybe my mom always eats that casserole with a spoon. I always eat it with a fork.

How do you figure out when to use a fork and when to use a spoon? What are some things that DEFINITELY deserve  a fork and some things that DEFINITELY deserve a spoon? Aside from soup, because logically a spoon is the only option.. unless you are avoiding the broth.

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Forgiveness, Real.

FORGIVENESS, REAL. Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it. That, and only that, is forgiveness, and that we can always have from God if we ask for it. ~ C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

——————

That CS Lewis.. he’s so wise. In that book he also talks about the difference between forgiving and excusing. We tend to ask God for an excusal.. as in “I had no choice! I am not to blame!” instead of “I did it. Accept me still.”

Right now I am frustrated. At first I was angry and the more I’ve really focused my heart on the Lord I’ve just turned frustrated. There’s not much more elaborating that can be done without indulging in my frustration. All I know is that I’m doing a lot of thinking and inviting the Lord to be present in a lot of those thoughts. All, actually. All of those thoughts.

Mike Yaconelli writes in Messy Spirituality that perhaps prayer is not just stopping and folding our hands and bowing our heads and reciting “Heavenly Father…” but perhaps it is just thinking to him. Sounds simple enough. But for the past 40 minutes I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking about Christ and his personality and how he handled conflicts. That’s prayer. If anything, that is the listening aspect of prayer. Sometimes I get frustrated that I don’t find myself on my knees often enough, but I know that God is close to me when I am thinking towards him. That’s what I will call this other prayer. “Thinking towards.”

In honor of my friend Cassie’s birthday we all got desert and went bowling. I’m so glad to have friends like these.

Post-bowling
Post-bowling
JP, Abbie & Cassie.. caught off guard.
JP, Abbie & Cassie.. caught off guard.
Cassie & Abbie
Cassie & Abbie
The girls
The girls
This is a bit frightening.
This is a bit frightening.
Cassie & Corey
Cassie & Corey
The boys. Dont they look exciting?
The boys. Don’t they look exciting?
Me, Cassie & Chrissy
Me, Cassie & Chrissy

I’m going to go think towards God for a little bit.

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