That last post was a bit self-indulgent. Yesterday was probably the wordiest day of my entire life, I just could not find it in my to SHUT UP.
Like I mentioned, yesterday I re-started Project 365. Click on “Emily Grace” over there on the right to see my sweet sister Emily’s project 365. We originally started on the same day but I gave up due to very monotonous days and a camera that couldn’t capture the beauty of them. So here I go again.It will be interesting to see what happens to this during the summer when we’re both at camp. Em, have you thought of that?
At work, we’ve been entering VHS tapes. I was building epic towers of VHS tapes, but it kept falling on my head. Videos on the left needed to be manually looked up on Amazon. Videos in the middle were worth more than 25 cents, and videos on the right were less than 25 cents and therefore of no use to us.
Stop being jealous of how thrilling my job is, please.
The other day as I was taking a shower, I looked at my pumice stone and thought “you are probably one of the worst things for an obsessive compulsive to own.”
I’m not going to try and offer a quick, light-hearted summary of OCD and what it is and what aspects of my life have fallen into its black hole. For the past few weeks I’ve been making a mental list of the common things people own that are very dangerous for obsessive compulsives. As I encounter these things, I will share them with you. Mostly because a fair amount of my friends read this blog and I kind of am a weenie about sharing my OCD struggles in a personal way. Welcome to the madhouse.
Since I wear flip flops 97% of the time, my feet have the potential to quickly become fairly nasty. Upon realizing this, I invested in a pumice stone to keep my feet from being ridiculously awful.
All seemed well in pumice stone owning land until Saturday. The weather here in the Northwest has been absolutely beautiful. I came home and sat down with my dying dog in the front yard. After I stood up, my mom said “you have something on your leg.” “It’s just dirt” we concluded. As I stood in the bathroom, about to wash it off in the sink I took a closer look and realized it definitely was not dirt.
In case you’ve not figured it out:
Dog + yard = __________ (poop)
Immediately, I jumped in the shower. Of course I wasn’t going to touch it, because that would make my hands infected. Instead I turned the water to a ridiculously painful temperature and watched as the heat burned off the trace of doggie poo on my leg. This is where the story turns from normal into obsessive compulsive land. Feeling as if the poo was still stuck to my skin, I pondered my options. Loofah or pumice? Pumice, obviously. Once I decided to see if the pumice stone would make my knees a bit softer. It didn’t, though it did successfully make them look as if I had fallen off of a bike and tried to use my knees as a braking system. Have I ever mentioned that I don’t ride bikes?
Back to Saturday. I grabbed the pumice stone and started scrubbing. After twenty seconds, my leg was bright red (a combination of water rivaling the temperature of the sun and a piece of something that is made to remove calluses) and it was painful to stand in the shower.
The thing that I find the most amusing about OCD is that most of us stand in completely stupid situations and rationalize with ourselves. “It is normal to take a diaper off when changing a baby’s diaper.” “My foot will not fall off if I step on a sidewalk crack.” “I can hold a knife without it resulting in a spontaneous killing spree.” (If you are not an obsessive compulsive, you probably think I am a freak. If you are an obsessive compulsive, I am virtually high fiving you.. which I appreciate, because then I won’t feel the urge to wash my hands.) OCD has nothing to do with logic.
As I stood there, wincing in pain as the water was dripping down my leg I did the only thing that seemed right. I kept scrubbing.
One thing I love about my obsessive compulsive episodes is that eventually I snap out of them. Out of nowhere, it will just occur to me how insane I am being and I will just walk away. A few moments of scrubbing later, I dropped my pumice stone, turned the water off, and thought “bathrooms are very dangerous for an obsessive compulsive” and I then made a little mental note of the other scary devices of torture spread casually around my bathroom.
-soap (pretty much the biggest OCD cliche)
-toilet paper (you might think.. tp? really? consider folding)
-tooth brush (hello touch symmetry sufferers!)
This post was going to include a multitude of things. For example, today I restarted the 365 project, meaning I will take a picture every day for a year. Today I also had a great drive home from work, a great phone call, a great e-mail, a great visit with a friend and a great discussion at Bible study. and then I just ate a few Wheat Thins, and now I will retire.
Since the fall, life has been crazy. It’s been insane.
I’ve learned the art of dreaming; of seeing the endless possibilities for my ideas.
Yesterday I was driving home from Seattle and I was really upset about life, and the direction I’m heading. My friend Ernie called. We were originally going to talk about his upcoming trip to Africa with Mocha Club, but then he asked how I’ve been doing. Not a single fiber of my being had the ability to lie, and I just expressed to him how I’m doing.
Ernie is brave. He is doing what he loves, and he is doing it with every single ounce of energy he has.
I love alliterations. They’re eay to remember. Here’s one he gave me, outlining the keys to getting where you want to be:
..and Prayer is good.
The first one is what I’ve been thinking about; being patient with myself. I’m still growing, still learning, still trying to figure it all out. That is okay.
I mentioned that I was leaving Seattle. Emily came and spent some time with me. It was so fun. Prior to her arrival, I said that what I loved was that Em and I could watch TV the whole time and still have a blast. We ended up watching One Tree Hill for a substantial amount of time.
For my very first entry, I made a list of books to read. Time to cross some off, hooray! I decided today that I will try to read one book every week. Seems like a good idea.
Two Part Invention by Madeleine L’Engle
Soul Virgins by Doug Rosenau & Michael Todd Wilson
Girls’ Ministry 101 by Whitney Prosperi
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Lord Save Us from Your Followers by Dan Merchant The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne
And Both Were Young by Madeleine L’Engle
Love Walked In by Marisa De Los Santos
Upside Down by Benny Perez
Into the Great Wide Open by Kevin Canty
The Shack by William P. Young
Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado
Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
I’m so going to get through this list.. this is exciting. I added the last book because it’s the book I’m reading now. That may be cheating, but oh well. 🙂