Have you heard of Klout? It basically measures your internet influence based on a whole bunch of social media things. I was telling Klout that I think Donald Miller is influential in topics like Spirituality and Blogging and Faith and I thought “I would like to be influential about things that matter.”
I looked up what Klout says I’m influential about. You ready for this list? According to Klout, I am influential in regards to:
- Travel & Tourism
- Justin Bieber
…what? I mean, some of them I get. Like music, travel, Portland. Maybe even faith. Okay, and Justin Bieber. But I’ve never been to Paris, and I hardly am a Coldplay fan.
I sat for a little bit and wondered why I am influential about things that either mean nothing or… are things I’m not actually influential about. The answer didn’t even require much thought. I knew it before I even asked a question of myself. Somehow I just got quiet. Not in real life, mind you. In real life I got even more opinionated.
But I stopped organizing my thoughts and sharing them. I think I’ve just kind of become surrounded by people shouting nonsense and I don’t see the point of trying to compete.
Lately Donald Miller’s been writing these tweets that keep pissing me off because they have been stirring inside of me. I’m going to share some of them in hopes that some of you will suffer along with me.
“By writing, you are saying to God ‘I agree with you, you gave me a voice and the gift was not in vain.”
“If you fear the critics, you’ll never tell the truth. And if you don’t tell the truth, you’ll never change the world.”
“One of the top five regrets of the dying was not sharing their opinion. Lose twitter followers. Your opinion matters.”
It’s time for me to find my voice again, to write about things that really matter (though I’m sure those pictures of Mickey Mouse really stirred something within you) because I care about things that matter. And I believe that I know people who care about them, too.
I just want to change my world. The whole world is a bit beyond my realm of influence, but I want to inspire and dream and dare. While on the phone with Gregory last night, I said (in relation to something else) “I wish I was created differently. I know that’s an insult to the Creator, and only matters because I know Him by name, but I really wish I was created differently.” Sometimes I do, because being me is exhausting.
Other times I feel in the depths of my soul that God has so much to do with me if I would just let him. Even though I love people and I love music, my responsibilities have always been with writing. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t think I’m very good at it and I don’t even enjoy writing that much. I do, however, enjoy the moment where I have said something.
I’ve got a lot to say. I’m not writing a book or hoping to make new friends (okay that’s a lie, I SO want new friends), I just need to start using the voice I’ve lost.