This was supposed to post last week. I actually raced against the clock to take it down THE VERY MINUTE it posted. I wanted to think about it. Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from one of my friends who talked about how she is sad BECAUSE OF A STUPID BOY. and another one of my friends.. HER stupid boy keeps commenting on her instagram and it’s actually making ME mad.
SO I FIGURED.
THIS IS ALL SO REAL.
LIKING BOYS SUCKS INAPPROPRIATE WORDS.
Hello and happy Tuesday, let’s get down to business.
Sooooo I like a boy. I wrote about it. a few times. And I’m so over it.
There was this moment last week when I was going to tell him I liked him. I had actually practiced saying it out loud a few times. Brilliantly worded if you ask me. I had let go of any expectations for a response since I tended to bounce between him either punching me in the face and telling me I was stupid or pulling out the ring he’s been carrying around waiting for the right time to ask me a question. Anyway there I stood, unable to look at him in the face and my heart started beating so fast and I wanted to throw up, and before I could even get to the part that created a solid foundation to kind of casually say “because I like you,” he started talking about relevant things, and I ended up saying “okay bye.” I got in my car and I actually went “UGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE WORST!!!!!!!!” I beat myself up over it for awhile and then officially decided that  liking boys is the worst.
You know why? It’s just so CONSUMING.
I was watching some stupid Lifetime original movie about some girl whose twin killed herself, and you know who I was thinking about? THAT BOY. I decided to get a glass of water and I thought about that boy. When I brush my teeth, when I make my bed, when I get the mail…. he is freaking everywhere in my mind.
Him and his stupid laugh and the stupid phrases he always says and the stupid way he makes me feel.
I am trying so hard not to make all of my friends hate me because of how often I text message them about it. But it is just such an emotionally draining experience. HE HAS SO MUCH POWER OVER ME and all he does is smile or say something nice or make me laugh.
But I really think he is an assertive guy. I believe that he #1. listens to God and #2. is brave enough to make a move. So I can’t figure out if there is actually any real benefit to saying something to him, because I honestly believe he’d do something if he was interested. But then there is this little tiny voice of hope that is like “maybe he is just kind of slightly intimidated by your fierceness.” Hey, it COULD happen.
The moral of the story is that I just want to be put out of my misery. I want for him to punch me or propose.
UGGGGHHHHHHH.
But can I ask your real opinion, people of the internet?Â
Is there any benefit to a girl telling her guy friend that she’s interested in him if she feels certain that he would act on any feelings of his own?
What are your thoughts?
Just tell me everything.
If you’d like to sign up to be on my list of people I text message freaking out about any interaction we have, just e-mail me your phone # and we can get that set up right away.
