The other night I was at Lorrie’s house. I wanted to talk with her because I KNEW she would understand where I was at – how and why I was hurting and how and why I was feeling a tension about throwing up the middle fingers of my heart and moving on.
She graciously let me sit on her couch until past midnight and then she prayed for me before I left. While she was praying, something she said stuck out to me.
LorrieÂ said “God, you know the whole story from the beginning to the end.”Â and in my heart I added “and you love all the characters, the protagonist AND the antagonist.”
As of today I haven’t said anything unkind about him and I refuse to do so here on my blog, but I have to be honest in saying this: I have never in my life been so mistreated by someone who I thought would be careful with me regardless of how things ended up. We started things as friends and all I ever wanted was to protect our friendship. The wound that has been created is deep and painful and I sometimes feel as if my whole being is in a state of shock that someone I trusted could be so unbearably cold towards me. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
This morning it all stormed inside of me and I cried out to God that I was so tired of hurting. It’s exhausting! Who knew that having someone be mean to you could make you so tired!?
I remembered what Lorrie prayed. God knows the whole story from beginning to end. He also knows whatever is happening in my story’s antagonist; the antagonist of my story is the protagonist of his own story. The same God who is at work in my story, redeeming all of my broken parts, is at work in the other story. He knows where both stories lead, and he is Lord over all of it.
Speaking of redeeming broken parts.
A few years ago I got dumped and it was the best thing to happen to me because homeboy was cray. In the wake of that, I bought adventure shoes.
The following year, those adventure shoes took me on hikes (like Beacon Rock and Mirror Lake) that brought me closer to the boy that is currently weighing heavy in my heart. But I didn’t know that at the time.Â When I bought a pair of Teva’s at Fred Meyer on July 04, 2013 I had no clue how important they would be in upcoming chapters of my life. When a newly opened coffee stand followed me on Twitter on April 25, 2014 I had no idea what buying that honey lavender latte would start.
Now as I lay here in the quiet of the night reflecting on the ebb and flow of my life so far, I trust that there are pieces of my life Â that have the power to become pivotal moments in my future. God knows all of them. He knows every character that will come in and out of my life for a chapter or two, and he is God of their stories – wherever they’re at now and wherever they’ll go when they exit mine.
I don’t know what is coming up in the future chapters of my life, but IÂ know that my God always moves me to the land of bigger or better, so when it comes.. I’m anticipating one heck of a plot twist with all these fragmented parts.
In an earlier post I shared one of the songs I’ve been clinging to in this current season. There’s a part of the song that seems especially relevant in the light of what Lorrie prayed for me.
“I cannot see in the night that lies before me
But I hold the hand that made the stars.”
I’m in His hands.
linking up with Thought Provoking Thursdays, Everyday Jesus, Friendship Friday, Â Ra Ra Linkup, Fellowship Friday, High Five for Friday, Grace and Truth, Faith Filled Friday, Recommendation Saturday, The Weekend Brew, Still Saturday, Saturday Soiree, Â Weekend No Rules Blog Hop, Good Morning Mondays, Mondays @ Soul Survival, Monday’s MusingsÂ , Tell it to me Tuesday, Testimony Tuesday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Sharing His Beauty, Â
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In His hands is the best place to be!
Years ago, I got dumped on Valentine’s Day (true story!). The next day, I had a good friend who made me sit and tell her everything. I poured all the ugly out and cried. She listened and passed me tissue. I will never forget what she said to me — “Right now, this makes no sense, but one day, you will understand why God allowed this to happen to you.” Sure enough, a few years later, I met my husband. The first time he grabbed my hand, I had my “AH-HA God moment.” God writes better stories than I do…. 🙂
It’s so lovely to “meet you” today through Thought-Provoking Thursday, Stephanie.
God writes better stories than i doâ€¦ i LOVE that. i even just tweeted it 😉
i’m totally trusting that God is working all of this out for my good – that despite my hurt and confusion, he’s right there in the midst of all of it creating something new and beautiful. i got stuck on this idea last week that God is the universal bigger or better champ because my friend krystin told me “God will never show you the gold and give you the silver.”
sucks in the meantime, but i’m so grateful that God is shining so bright in the midst of it!! <3 thank you for stopping by and sharing your story – it encouraged me today!!
Hi, Stephanie! You left a link last week at Grace and Truth, but when I clicked through to it, the post was gone? Anyways, I just wanted to let you know I stopped by for a visit. I’m so sorry to hear of the pain you are enduring, but you are right. We can trust Him with our story! I also looked around a bit and found your post on Madeleine L’Engle, whom I adore! I’m currently reading through A Wrinkle in Time with our middle boy (he’s a bit of a Charles Wallace and needs a good challenge). So nice to meet you here! 🙂
Jen @ Being Confident of This
THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP! i changed my permalink settings and didn’t realize it literally changed ALL OF MY LINKS. i changed it back now.
madeleine l’engle is absolutely BRILLIANT! how is your son liking the book? and charles wallace is brilliant too so i like your son already 🙂 <3
The omnipotent and omnipresent God. He knows when I sit and I stand. He knows my thoughts. 🙂
So assuring and comforting to have Someone who loves and cares for us this much.
YES! those words – such a precious and needed reminder of how close and present God is. thank you for the reminder. <3
Stopping by from Faith & Fellowship and I’m sorry to hear about the pain in your heart. I’m confident that God will lead you through and that he has a plan for you…. Side note: I need to get myself a pair of adventure shoes.
thanks for stopping by!! you DEFINITELY need adventure shoes. appropriate footwear for all occasions is my new motto haha. last summer i just kept them in my car at all times!!
& thank you for the reminder – God is definitely treading the path before me, and i’m trying not to be too whiny of a travel companion in my current season of hurt. but i at least can see him in the midst of it all, and that’s the BEST comfort of all time. <3
Very powerful post! God is truly the author of our stories and we are simply asked to play the part He’s given us! #RaRalinkup
yes! amen! sometimes hard to remember when we want to know what happens in the next chapter 😉
Beautiful Stephanie, He does know the whole story. And He knows your heart. I am so glad to read that you are holding onto the Saviour during this time of pain. I have been married for 17 years now. I look back on the boyfriends I had and I am so thankful that I didn’t settle. If I could leave one piece of wisdom for single ladies, it would be to just keep growing in your spiritual walk with the Lord instead of trying to find a husband. Believe me, you don’t want to spend years and years with a man who doesn’t love you and cherish you as you should be.
yes! a boy once broke up with me and his sister immediately reached out and said he wasn’t the spiritual leader i needed and it was worth it to wait for a man that loves the Lord. it’s something i’ve clung to because of who it came from and when and how it’s helped me. thank you for agreeing with her and encouraging me in my waiting! 🙂
So much wisdom from your friend & yourself. The search for significance can on ly be found in the One Who holds the Stars. Indeed. Happily stopping by from Missional Woman Link.
thanks for stopping by, shandra! i find the stars to be so fascinating, so knowing that i’m being kept safe by the same One who has kept the stars shining for so long.. yeah. good place to be!! <3
What a blessing that God DOES know the whole story… and He knows the plans He has for us… plans for good and not evil. We need to keep our hearts focused on Him.
AMEN! plans for good. plans to not harm. yes yes yes!!! love it. thanks for stopping by <3
We were just talking today at work about how God knows the whole story and how sometimes we may not understand it, but there’s a plan. God Bless you Stephanie.
oh man. yes. God’s ways aren’t our ways, but they are the very best way. He’s going to keep writing the story and we have to keep developing as characters with every challenge he brings us to! <3
ahhh so deep. and so applicable to life, no matter what stage we’re in.! that quote (lyric??) reminds me of one of phil wickam’s songs that says “the hands that hold the world are holding your heart.” i’m so glad God knows how my story will go!!
YES!!! i LOVE that song! my phil wickham iTunes radio station is so good for my soul, and i LOVE when that song comes on! <3 God's got us. what a great assurance.
It is such a comfort when we realize and know that He does know the whole story, including our part in it and He continues to hold us in His hands.
amy! i love that; he knows our part in it. it’s crazy to think that as the Author, he knows what’s coming up in the next chapter and we literally have NO IDEA!! it’s exciting (and kinda scary but mostly exciting if we choose to trust)
Praise God that He has written our story from before the foundation of the world and offers us the starring role, if we yield to His Spirit! Thank you for the beautiful post and reminder. Linked up with you at The Beauty in His Grip — hope you’ll stop by Saved by Grace for a visit!
oh AMEN, laurie! — our story has been written for so long. God gave me a clear vision of this recently, of the excitement that stirred in heaven on the day i was born because God was FINALLY able to live out his story through me. what! that is so crazy!! but so beautiful.
I’m so glad He knows the story. His version is much more interesting than ours would have been!
Davy! SO TRUE! mine would be likeâ€¦. girl likes boy, boy likes girl, first comes love then comes marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage and they lived happily ever after the end. and God’s like “wait, where am i in that?” and so i am grateful he writes HIS story. that is grace.
So I just read this post and I went back and read some of your earlier ones on the subject too. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. But I love how positive you still are and how mature you are about! It’s really inspiring.
thanks so much. being in this place is kind of bittersweet – darkness brings out the brightness of the stars, you know? i’ve seen God at work more in the past month than i have in awhile, and it’s been good and needed to have to cling so tightly to himâ€¦ though the whole reason behind it kind of blows. but God is faithful and i’ll get through. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear of your heartache – I’ve been there! You’re wise to remember that He knows the whole story; He has allowed this for a reason – and this “no” means a better “yes” is in store. Thanks for linking up at Grace & Truth!
amen! this no is a better yes. i love that!! thank you for stopping by. <3