life

Every morning I wake up and think, “I should really blog!” and then I begin the hour-long task of sharing my Poshmark closet, because my blog, on average, makes me like $10.00 a month in Adsense money and Poshmark makes me like $1000+ a month. I’m going where the money is, y’all.

But then I find myself thinking about my blog and wanting to blog and wishing I blogged and I get weighed down with guilt and frustration when the day ends and I’ve not even logged into my blog’s dashboard.

My friend Gregory once said it’s possible to be in so many places that you’re really nowhere at all, and that’s how I sometimes feel. I’m a part-time reseller, a part-time (overnight) nanny, and I am a very casual essential oil advocate. I try to be a housewife and stay on top of the laundry which has to be done elsewhere, and the dishes which have to be hand washed, and the cleaning of the counters and apartment and running of errands and… I just feel like I’m doing most of it at 30%.

I get the same “start a routine” feedback, but I never spend more than 6 nights in a row sleeping at my apartment in any given month, so it’s really hard to get ANYTHING on a routine.

I need to side note all of this with this statement: I am so grateful I don’t have a 9-5 job. My anxiety levels have significantly decreased since I’ve started really working for myself. It’s been hard to stop seeing Poshmark as a “side hustle” and acknowledging it’s my actual source of whatever income I make that month, but that shift in thinking has been so incredibly beneficial for me.

When I can, I try to set myself up for working in a coffee shop, where the buzz of human connection keeps me moving and motivated, even if I have my headphones in and the human connection means watching someone walk in and walk up to the counter, or noting that I have the same shoes, or smiling or answering a question.

When I worked with kids every day, my main goal was to help each child succeed every single day. In the midst of conflict, I’d brainstorm ways to help the child succeed even in the smallest ways. You’re unable to sit and listen to the devotion? Would you like to help wash the windows? and then a celebratory “The windows look so clean! Thank you so much, you are such a huge help! Thanks for being on my team!” Choosing to not dive into the struggle of asking a child to sit still and leave defeated because they kept squirming.

I’m trying to try that trick on myself. How can I feel like every day I have succeeded? Maybe it’s because I woke up and got dressed, or I took photos of every article of clothing I bought at the thrift store yesterday. Putting away the dishes. Responding to 5 e-mails. Reading for 10 minutes. Hitting my FitBit steps.

But they’re all over the place, and some days I celebrate an empty sink and other days I celebrate a photo roll full of clothing. There’s no consistency, no common thread and sometimes it feels like I am not actually treading water, I’m more doing the flail thing trying to grab onto anything to give me a moment’s break. Kind of like:

But I think that I’m remembering that the overall trend can be up even if some days feel lower and thinner than I’d like. Positive trend graphs sometimes go two steps forward and one step back.

and I think I’m needing to stop pretending like a blog needs to be something that is teaching people or has some Pinterest-worthy image. There was a season when I blogged every day. I found this in my image files:

…I cannot fathom that these days, and so I’m reminding myself it’s 100% okay to just blog what I personally need to blog, with no concern for if it’s SEO friendly or pinnable or whatever. I can’t do that right now.

{Oh well.}

And so even though it’s my natural resting place to sit in the ways I’ve failed or only given 50%, I’ll celebrate the positive trends happening all throughout my life:

• I’m on my last week of a StepBet and last week I didn’t have to walk around my apartment at 11:00 trying to get in 1000 more steps because I’ve been more active.
• In January I made less than $900 on Poshmark, but in the months since then I’ve pushed past $1000 consistently.
• I get up by 6:30 every day when Justen leaves.
• Overall, I feel more energized/stable than I ever have in my life. I don’t always see it in the day-by-day but when I think back to life 2 years ago, it’s really obvious.

To little victories, y’all.

Last month Justen asked me what I want for my birthday (which isn’t even until the end of May) and I was like “I literally don’t know,” and then I realized that I’ve been walking around saying “I really want ______” so I figured I’d just go ahead and compile a little list of the things I’m wishing for this month.

Before I get to that, I just want to say that Bailey wrote about why she stopped writing financial blog posts and I loved that. I spent a few years writing often about finances and while I’m still REALLY COMMITTED to paying off debt and eventually buying + paying off a house, being so attached to writing about finances makes it hard for me to blog about other things because I feel like a big hypocritical liar. So I’m pausing on writing blog posts about finances (aside from our debt repayment recaps and the occasional post about how we save money on things). Thanks for going first, Bailey 🙂

ON TO THE THINGS I REALLY WANT RIGHT NOW

ONE // A SQUATTY POTTY

Listen. As of now I don’t have a Squatty Potty BUT I DO have a stepladder that I will occasionally bring near the toilet and put my feet on it while I go to the bathroom and the difference is just amazing. So literally all I want for my birthday at this point in life is an actual Squatty Potty which is easily stored at the base of your toilet and then I can look as happy as this lady:

Look at that Squatty Potty, helping get her body all squatty-like. I want one so bad. They’re only $24.99 on Amazon.

TWO // ADIDAS Superstar sneakers (I’m a size 9.5 hint hint hint)

On Black Friday I managed to score a pair of all-white Adidas Neo sneakers that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE. See this picture:

I just love those shoes so much…. and I want another pair that are slightly different because they have a pop of black! Side note, did anyone have these shoes in like 1998? They were SO COOL, and I remember wanting the black stripes so bad but the ones on sale at Nordstrom were a shiny light blue striped kind. So you know what I want right now? I want Adidas Superstars with the freaking black stripe as seen in this photo because right?

THREE // ALLLLLL THE PLANNER STICKERS!

Here’s the thing: I have PLENTY of planner stickers. Like… I have enough planner stickers to fully fill two years worth of planner stickers but I just love stickers, so a pack of these stickers to look at while I’m using my Squatty Potty would be awesome.

FOUR // NEW ROLLERBOTTLES

Ugh I kind of hate that I’m admitting this but I’ve really turned into that person who uses essential oils for like all the things. My current new thing is I’m trying a blend of oils to attempt to get my hair to grow back. I have these rollerballs that have plastic roller things and they’re okay but I love the metal ones that come in the dōTerra roller balls. Until I have an empty one to use for my own magic potions, I would desperately like these BEAUTIFUL ones, found on Amazon:

FIVE // THE GREATEST SHOWMAN 

I’m late to hop on this bandwagon, but the theater next door (literally our window looks out over the theater roof) finally got The Greatest Showman and since it was only $4.50, we went with my mom and watched the movie and I’m obsessed. I’m about to go pay $4.50 to see it again. or I should buy the movie, go to the concessions stand and by a $6 large bag of movie theater popcorn, come back upstairs and watch it from the comfort of my couch. Also their popcorn is so good. and they serve Butter Beer… so… yeah, but that’s a side note. One more side note. When I saw Zac Efron on the screen (a pleasant surprise) I whispered to my mom “THAT GUY IS GOING TO PLAY TED BUNDY!” and now I follow Zac Efron on Instagram and I don’t know how I feel about all of this except I have this weird new love for Zac Efron. but anyway. This goes on my wish list FOR SURE.

What are five things on your wishlist right now?! Anybody else obsessed with squatty potties or just me…?

Hello, welcome to Monday Morning, February 26th, 2018. Last night I saw someone post about Vero and I was like.. What is Vero? So I downloaded it and set up a profile and then I literally was not prepared for what happened next.

…I fell down the Vero-hole. I just made that up, fyi. As I connected with and discovered people, I couldn’t stop. I wanted to see all the people, comment on all the posts, and enjoy all the engagement. Real people, real humans, with no deceptive motives.

IT REMINDED ME OF MYSPACE, Y’ALL. The beauty of MySpace was being able to connect with complete strangers on the internet. Instagram is a little like that, but it’s been funky lately. Algorithms and stories and swipe ups and what have you… it just seems so much like looking at a magazine. Curated things with ads thrown in. But Vero feels different. More real and authentic and with less concern of aesthetic and vibes and such. More in the moment.

FIRST let me tell you about Vero and then I’m going to sing its praises for a few paragraphs.

WHAT IS VERO?

Vero (an Italian word for “real” or “truth”) is a social platform that does away with algorithms and platform-based meddling with the presentation of posts.

HOW DO I GET VERO?

Vero is an app available on the Apple or Android Store

WHY SHOULD I DOWNLOAD VERO?

IDK, because you want to? Vero is gifting the first 1,000,000 users with a free lifetime subscription to the platform. After that, users will be charged a fee for use to help keep the app ad-free. So if you want in, do it before they hit that 1,000,000 mark.

HOW DO I USE VERO?

After setting up an account, you can start sharing things. You can share books, movies, TV shows, links, videos, photos, locations.. they all show up on your profile and can be sorted by category for people to see. Hashtags work as a search function (with no algorithms behind them thankyouverymuch) and you can scroll, like + comment on people’s stuff!

WHY IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM INSTAGRAM?

Aside from behind the scenes algorithm things, Vero allows you to effortlessly share recommendations (you can search for books + movie titles, links show up on the app and allow you to choose a photo to share with them, etc). Also a huge deal is that Vero allows you to use clickable links IN YOUR CAPTION. No more “link in bio!” or “on the blog today!” You can link directly to whatever you want people to see.

Okay on to the paragraphs praising Vero.

When I first got Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, none of these were exclusively used for blogging. It was just what you did with your life online. The “Social Media Influencer” has risen from those platforms and has created a weird wake where people are constantly tweaking what they post, when, with what filters, and shared to which comment pods to increase visibility. Cracking the algorithm isn’t about being the most popular, it’s about having a fair shot at being seen at all. I have 2200 followers on Instagram and often times I’ll receive literally 25 likes on my posts. They didn’t get enough engagement or likes within a certain window and Instagram then deemed them uninteresting to my followers. It’s not about being popular, it’s about wanting it to be fair.

Vero levels that playing field. Likes and comments don’t increase your visibility. There is no algorithm, no method needed to sort through the madness. You post, you hashtag + discover, and repeat. You share and engage and not because you’re trying to help someone else crack the algorithms, but because you think it’s cool (or don’t, whatever floats your boat).

Also. The blogging social media world is all over the place. For anyone who has started to try and grow a social media presence since the age of the algorithm knows that growth is HARD. People with lots of followers have a ball rolling in their favor and everyone else is always scratching their heads trying to even find the freaking ball that needs a good push in the right direction. Vero puts everyone back to square 1. I’m sure that over the course of a few weeks or months, some people will naturally grow their Vero following, but it’s not so overwhelming since it’s so new. Unless we’re talking about Max from Catfish bc he has a million followers (but rightfully so).

I. love. Vero. and y’all should join me – even if just so you can be one of the first 1,000,000 🙂

Have y’all heard of Vero? Are you on it? Share share share! I want to know! 😀

And put February 7 on your calendar, when we’ll be discussing what we’re currently finishing, subscribing, wishlisting, watching, and hearting.

CURRENTLY FINISHING…

putting our apartment together! I’ve literally been there for 6 months, and we’re only just now starting to put stuff on the wall. I swear to y’all if they raise our rent and we have to move I will be the maddest because photos on the wall is what will make it feel like home. Except we’re both so bad at hanging things up so it’s not actually going that well.

CURRENTLY SUBSCRIBING…

to ALL the podcasts! It’s like I spent YEARS completely denying how amazing they are and now I’m suddenly trying to catch up on ALL THE PODCASTS! I’m LOVING Here To Make Friends (a bachelor recap podcast), Goal Digger by Jenna Kutcher, and Blogged from My Haute Society. On the one hand I totally want more podcast recommendations and on the other hand I have like 100 episodes of Goal Digger to get through. Do what you will with that info, friends.

CURRENTLY WISHLISTING…

A set of pans with lids. What kind of adult am I? NONE of our pans have lids and so when a recipe calls for something to be  covered, I literally cover it with a baking tray. I mean whatever, but I’d really like some lids. That’s pretty much it. For whatever reason I’ve been hyper aware of all the people “swipe up to shop!”ing and gift guides and attempts to get me to spend the money I’m trying SO DESPERATELY to cling to + use to pay off. I feel like wanting less means buying less which means saving more, so I try REALLY HARD not to “wishlist” things.

CURRENTLY WATCHING…

LITERALLY, an old episode of Criminal Minds is on. But as far as my TV rotation, I like to keep things good and grown up with The Bachelor, Catfish, Criminal Minds & MTV The Challenge. My current Netflix Binge is Grey’s Anatomy. and Justen and I are wanting to watch a zillion Best Picture Nominee movies so soon we’ll be all over that.

CURRENTLY HEARTING…

tips and tricks to be more productive and organized and such. I was reading in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (so good, y’all!) about how when your house is tidy, you are suddenly forced to address a lot of other issues that kind of get pushed to the back burner because you always have a distraction and “to do” that doesn’t involve those issues. I’m trying to be more mindful of the receipts on the table and random cups laying around because I know that if I look around and there’s no real “to do” list, I’m forced to reflect and tackle the things going on inside.

Y’all, hardcore hearting that book. Have any of you read it?

AND! have you even TRIED the limited edition Cherry Mocha at Starbucks? because hearting that hardcore.

Alright y’all. Linking up with Anne and Sarah for the Currently link up! What are YOU watching right now? ps just so you know I haven’t seen This Is Us so sorry cannot relate. 

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