“Do we dare less than God’s people in Scripture? What has happened to us? Don’t we trust the Lord enough to tell our Maker how we really feel?”
The Rock that is HigherÂ
One thing I have noticed in my prayer life is that oftentimes I do not pray  how I speak. In my speaking, I am trying to rule out the phrases “I think” (unless relevant) and “I feel  like” (also unless relevant, though I rarely speak about my emotions). In my prayer life I am challenging myself to do the same: trying to take out the words “please help me” or “help me to.” Yes, I need God’s help, guidance and grace in all things. But I do not strike up these phrases in any conversation about accountability or need.
Taking away my prayer crutches means being more honest in prayer. “Help me” is as honest a prayer as any, but all things in excess lose their power. In my prayers, I hide my sin and wretchedness with the acknowledgment that I need help. I never look at or verbalize the atrocities I live out in my heart. I say “Lord, help me to tame my tongue” but never say “God, if the overflow of my heart is my mouth, then my heart is awful! What can be done?”
This is especially obvious when I talk about other people. My “help me”s in regards to other people focus on wanting to be more like who I think God wants me to be. “Help me love this person more.” “Help me realize they are hurting.” You know what I rarely say to God? I rarely say “This person is about five seconds away from getting clocked.” Once I did speak openly about other people. I laid on the floor, my arms stretched out, my face pressed into the carpet and I prayed through my vengeance “God, I want them to suffer. I want them to hurt, and I want it to be at my hands. If not at my hands, then please at least let me see it. They have hurt me so badly, and if you would be so kind as to make them pay… they deserve it. They deserve all unkindness and discomfort and…”
and so on and so forth, but the healing that came after that prayer was far quicker and more to-the-point than any healing I receive from the “help me be better” prayers. Because it pushed myself and my games out of the way and really said “Here am I. Send me. Fix me. Heal me.”
We are too polite in our prayers, and I see that when I think of Moses. “Now show me your glory.” What! Who does this man think he is, telling the One who is named I AM that he must reveal himself.
But prayer isn’t about being polite, and if we cannot be honest in prayer then I daresay we cannot be honest in the rest of our lives.
