By the time we celebrated our first wedding anniversary, our relationship had been through
- a shooting
- a car wreck
- 4 job changes
- 4 deaths of people we love
- an overdramatic hospital visit to get my gallbladder removed
- our lovely little apartment leaking on us… a lot
In the second year of our marriage, we encountered
- having to quickly move out of our apartment because of said leak and downsizing to live in a studio
- another death in the family
- Justen finding out his job was getting terminated.. right after we found out we were pregnant
- 2 trips to labor and delivery during pregnancy because I was scared
- having to navigate new insurance in the middle of a pregnancy
- taking our 3 day old baby to the ER which resulted in 3 nights in the NICU
and now we kick off Year 3 of the Martian marriage in a season of exhaustion, miscommunication, under-communication, an overwhelming amount of financial burden thanks to all the nights in the hospital, and the most precious expansion to the family we founded two years ago on this day.
As an only child who values alone time and “I do what I want when I want how I want,” marriage has been a challenge for me.
Madeleine L’Engle wrote,
No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again – till next time.
The other night I looked at Justen and said “this is the hardest thing that’s happened to our marriage,” in reference to having a baby. For weeks leading up to Madeleine’s birth I would cry because I loved our little life of just the two of us. It’s scary and trying and full of some wonderful feelings I never knew existed.
I still cannot believe Justen is my husband. It is better than I’d ever imagined. Even with the trying times. 💖
So cheers to a good Two and a fun, exciting Three.