Baby Martian // Week 38

This is it, y’all.

At our midwife appointment, we scheduled an induction for next weekend, the end of week 39. I’ve been planning on letting things happen naturally but after talking to both of our midwives, I decided to schedule an induction. Week 38 was our last full week either without our baby or without being in the hospital working towards getting here here πŸ˜‰

When we went in for our non-stress test, I was asked if I could feel the contractions I was having. I couldn’t. Maybe that’s a good sign for later. My fingers are crossed.

I had my cervix checked, which was neat! My midwife was impressed about what she felt and then did a membrane sweep to help things get going. I had a crampy evening and then started to lose my mucus plug. Someone posted this meme that said pregnancy is basically 9 months of looking at the toilet paper after you wipe and I was like.. yea that is SO ACCURATE. It’s also a lot of talking about body parts you had no concern about prior to pregnancy.

You know how many times I’ve ever mentioned my cervix in conversation before this year? Probably never. now I talk about my cervix DAILY.

My anxiety has hit me HARD. There are days when I literally just sit on the couch doing nothing but zoning out because it’s SO MUCH to process. SO MUCH unknown ahead of us, not just with the whole labor and delivery but life beyond that. I’d expected to be a lot happier at this point in the pregnancy, but it turns out I’m still holding my breath and hoping that everything goes okay. I told Justen the other day that I feel like I haven’t let myself really feel connected or bonded to the baby in case something goes wrong and we don’t leave the hospital with her.

You can imagine that I have a lot of emotions and I’m usually feeling all of them at the same time.

But we’re in the home stretch.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Bruno Mars and being very kind to myself. Justen has been amazing in letting me process these last weeks, even though he’s got his own fears and uncertainties to process. I’m so grateful for him.

And let me just say this. I cannot wait to be able to sleep on my stomach again. Counting down the days.

See? all the feels.

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