Make new friends.

I don’t care how old I am, meeting new people always turns me into an insecure 12-year-old girl. Am I dressed okay? Will there be anyone there my age, and if so… will they like me? What questions do I ask people about themselves, and is it possible to be too friendly?

Last Thursday I went to the women’s ministry at my church for the first time. I was so incredibly overwhelmed and SCARED. What if nobody liked me or wanted to talk to me or anything?

making friends is scary // stephanieorefice.net

So naturally I did the most social thing I could have EVER done. I drew a smiley face on my name tag to let people know I was friendly… then I walked in the room and picked the seat farthest away from anyone else, pulled out my journal and began writing. I didn’t look up until someone went on stage and started talking.

In our folders were these registration papers. We were supposed to fill them out about ourselves. So I did it.. in a pink pen. and then that wasn’t enough, so I went ahead and took my gold pen and added polka dots. Then I added flowers. and I considered asking for a new registration form because I remembered I am a GROWN UP…. and I panicked. I really panicked and wondered if I would ever be able to make friends outside of bloggers who appreciate pink and gold.

As soon as I finished my form, I found the leader and shoved it in her hands and ran out. Because I was really that nervous and scared and pretty sure I was never going to make friends. I knew, though, that I’d rather offer myself completely and truthfully and not make friends than to offer up an edited, guarded version of myself and make no friends that way.

But that night I got a friend request from one of the leaders who said that she kept re-reading my form and thinking about how she couldn’t wait to get to know me.

…what?

I’m sorry but what the actual what? ME? Someone read m paper about how my hobbies are drinking coffee and doing puzzles as long as they’re not all one color and reading and hanging out with kids… and wanted to know me?

I tend to be pretty good with strangers in natural settings (I just talked to the cute barista at this coffee shop about the wedding he was in this weekend) but put me in a room with the expectation of building friendships and I shut down. When I was younger, I always thought that I’d be a confident, well-adjusted grown up… but apparently I’m still just me, except with a credit card and the ability to drive a car. Oh, and I get to decide how often I bathe.

Making friends is hard.

How do you guys make friends?

Let’s find someone who can build apps and come up with a friend-making app. Like a dating app, but you just want to make friends. You know?

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