So one day I open up my e-mail and I get this invitation to this Fitness Night Out sponsored by ClassPass. and I’m going to be 100% honest with you. The only reason I decided I wanted to go was because the invitation looked like this:
I figured we’d probably drink fizzy drinks and do a few jumping jacks or something. Maybe admire each other’s yoga pants and no-slip headbands.
That sounded like fun so I decided to invite my friend Stacy. Only THEN did I look into what I’d signed us up for. And I immediately said “we are going to die. Like we’ll actually die.”
Before we went to Firebrand, we stopped at Starbucks (ROOKIE MOVE) and were telling the barista about our plans. He asked what “Pyrolates” or “Firebarre” were and did it involve slinging fire. I said “I mean we didn’t sign waivers so I’m guessing there’s no actual fire involved.”
Luckily the first thing they had us do when we got to Firebrand Sports was sign a waiver. Perfect. I guess that’s probably pretty normal, but I was legitimately thinking I was going to die.
The ladies from Lucy were there with some clothes and so I definitely bought this $40 workout shirt. I wasn’t sure about it until she said it even looks great with a pair of jeans because let’s be 100% honest – I never work out. But this shirt. It is so comfortable. Which seems like a dumb thing. I want to sleep in it, not sweat in it.
You can’t tell, but there are little slits in the side and the back is a little bit longer. and it’s SO SOFT! I LOVE IT!
So then I changed into my new shirt and went into the Firebarre class…
and I died.
Like I actually might be writing this from the grave because I couldn’t finish the class. I mean yeah, I’d just had a latte and I forgot to eat all day and hadn’t had water but let’s call a spade a spade. I never work out and that class was INTENSE.
For a minute I was repeating all of those Pinterest pins about training your mind and how your body can do more than you’d think and pretending Chris Powell was standing there encouraging me and then I realized my head was spinning and I thought… I’m out. Mic drop.
I got a swag bag, though. WITH A SHIRT AND A WATER BOTTLE AND CHOCOLATE (WHY CHOCOLATE!? I ATE THAT) It included the opportunity to try ClassPass for a week for only $10. ClassPass is a membership that allows you unlimited exercise classes around your city. It’s new to Portland which is why they were doing this event. Stacy and I are going to rally the troops and do the week trial together. From what I’ve heard, FireBarre is a REALLY INTENSE barre class, so I believe I might be able to do another class and maybe hate it… but not necessarily die.
Then! I got a call saying I had won a giveaway from Lucy that I’d entered. So I get to go get some stuff from the Lucy store. I’m leaving my wallet in the car, though. I hear they have that shirt in purple.
This morning I woke up and I ran to the mirror…. and I didn’t look like Britney Spears. I was actually really disappointed because I’d worked out for like TWELVE WHOLE MINUTES. I EVEN BOUGHT A $40 WORKOUT SHIRT. THAT SHOULD CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING, TOO.
So I guess the moral of this story can be summed up in Kristen’s text response to the whole ordeal (including my free shirt and giveaway win) – “It all worked out in the end.”
even I worked out. a little.