march 10th, 2012 – the love i give, returned to me.

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john mayer – continuum

 


yesterday morning, i woke up with a mission. after putting my glasses on {because really, i’m not awake until i can see clearly} i pulled out my record collection and excitedly put one of my favorites on. and i walked around feeling this strange right-ness with the world. a few hours later i decided to “catch up on the internet,” when i read this. john mayer is on an indefinite break from live performing.

but before i can tell you why this is hitting me hard, i need to let you know about some stuff that i’ve been thinking about lately. exhibits c, b & a.

exhibit a: ray charles. i LOVE ray charles. i really really love him. in high school i got to see him perform at the zoo. and i took his death really hard. i wept all through the movie ray. an older couple near us asked my dad if i was alright, and he put his arm around me and said “she just misses him.” “did she know him?” they asked excitedly. my dad shook his head. i felt foolish, but i couldn’t stop crying.

exhibit b: otis redding. i also LOVE otis redding. and about a month ago i was listening to hanson’s song “been there before.” some of the lyrics are about otis: “the young man sitting on the dock of the bay, he took a long-term trip on a first class plane. now the whole world listens to that one man’s song.” and suddenly it hit me, that otis redding was a real person who really lived and really sang and then he died, without being one of those old guys that play at the grammys and the young kids are like “boooo-ringggg.” he didn’t get that.

exhibit c: harry chapin. my mom’s favorite, that i inherited. harry chapin died before i was even born, but my mom loved him.. loved him how i love some musicians. she saw him 5 times and even met him, a piece of information that stirs in my heart so much understanding. i found this harry chapin dvd at the thrift store and bought it for my mom. we watched some of it together and i could feel the emotion radiating out of my mom. her favorite musician, who never made new songs. who never went through life and adulthood with her. always frozen in time in that moment.

there could also be exhibit d, michael jackson. exhibit e, jeff buckley.

 

but i have recently developed this strong, sometimes tear-inducing fear of my favorite musicians dying. i remember with painful clarity the very moment i heard about michael jackson’s death. but what happens when it’s dave barnes or marc broussard or taylor hanson or matt nathanson or stevie wonder or josh kelley or brandon heath or matt wertz or teitur or…. john mayer. that’s been one that’s just a hard one for me to think about. john mayer.

so the news of john’s indefinite break from live performing due to health reasons has hit me really hard. it’s scratching the surface of my fear. but i will tell you that although john mayer album releases are always emotional {see image below} but this one is gonna move me to my bones.

1 thought on “march 10th, 2012 – the love i give, returned to me.

  1. Oh how I can relate to this. When Whitney Houston died it was something that shocked me to my core. There are just certain musicians that their music speaks to me and she was that person to me. It sucks. I can imagine how bummed you are about JM live perfomances. I’m feeling for you.

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