february 19th, 2012 – becky, kristen, jess & elle.

today i finished reading shopaholic & sister, the fourth of the shopaholic series by sophie kinsella. and there is one part, at the end of chapter 22 where i felt tears filling up my eyes and slowly trickling down my face and i promptly assumed the following position for about five minutes {which is definitely an exaggeration}

no, but seriously. then when i got over it and kept reading i had to do it again, and you know why? i will tell you why.

“It is difficult to live with you,” says Luke matter-of-factly.
I blink at him, my throat a little tight.
“It’s also enriching. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It’s the only thing I want to do. If it were easy…it would be boring.” He touches my cheek. “Life with you is an adventure, Becky.”

and then me and my i-hate-chick-lit-and-nicholas-sparks-and-gushy-love-stuff self just lost it and cried and hugged the book to my chest and was like “luke brandon, i love you so much.” i loved him for seeing past becky’s selfishness and tendency to lie about ridiculous things and keep secrets and dig herself into holes.

there are all of these ridiculous females. people like becky bloomwood, who i just wrote about. and people like jess. you know. new girl jess. who likes colors and being friendly and is 100% herself, even when that is doubted or challenged or mocked. she is open and just brilliant. and she is a bit overwhelming and over the top, but incredibly endearing.

and then there’s a real life one, kristen bell. who went on ellen and brought along a video where she is crying with excitement because her super attractive fiance dax got a sloth to come to her birthday party. a SLOTH! someone who shares my love for underappreciated animals! and she proudly exclaimed that if she is not between a 3 and a 7, she is crying. she is crying because she’s too sad or too excited. me too!

let’s, of course, not forget the irreplaceable elle woods. queen of carving your own hot pink path in a sea of boring. during the mtv reality show “legally blonde the musical: the search for the next elle woods,” one of the actresses points out to one of the contestants that elle woods is not dumb. she’s not a stupid blonde. she just has a different value system than everyone else. i was nodding enthusiastically as i thought back to the character of elle woods and how she went about things.

since september, i’ve been having a slight identity crisis. one night i cried myself to sleep because i felt like nobody understood how much i loved glitter and that they found it messy and inconvenient and silly. and i have cried because people always suggest that one day i will stop liking pink. and i have been realizing that i am different. perhaps just the tiniest bit different, but different enough to feel it.

like this:

for awhile there, things were looking bad. the night of the glitter cry, for example. i’d wandered around wal-mart with my hands full of glue, glitter, posterboard, stickers, and ribbon to make a birthday card. but i started crying and put it all back, thinking “they will just all think it is ridiculous.” so i left wal-mart with as much pride as one can have after having a near-emotional-break while holding the makings of a 3rd grade science fair project, and i vowed to just buy a birthday card. “AND NOT EVEN A TAYLOR SWIFT ONE,” i thought. “a plain, boring one with a picture of a cake that just says “happy birthday.”

and then i cried myself to sleep, wondering if i should cave and be less.. overwhelming, for a better word.

but here i am, as obnoxiously overwhelming as ever and i am thankful for fictional and nonfictional people for being brave enough to be themselves,  and for giving me the courage to continue to shape all of my outfits around my sparkly pink ballet flats.

these are the shoes, in case you were wondering.

and i’d love to write more, but i’ve put off a few things due to the overwhelming desire to see if becky bloomwood and her long lost sister would make amends.