Dear Person {who has hurt me a lot},
Sometimes I wish that I could inflict pain on you. There have been times when I’ve even prayed about it, wanting to see you suffer and wanting to be the one who delivers the blow.
Luckily, prayer isn’t about convincing God to do things our way, but about aligning ourselves to God’s ways. and so I try to see you how God does. I try to look at the beautiful parts of you, the reasons why people love you, and I try to overlook the many ways you have caused me pain.
Part of me wishes I’d said something when the time was right, though I’m not sure when the right time was. My fear kept my mouth shut. My fear of your response, my fear of your behind-my-back eye rolls, my fear of your opinion of me. Which is stupid.
So instead, I’m trying to forgive you. C.S. Lewis says:
Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it.
That’s what I hope to one day offer you, though you may never know it’s been thrust in your direction. Here’s to the day.
Love,
Stephanie
