…I’m tired of being alone.

I made a mistake, and instead of silently suffering because of it, I’ll try to admit it, expand on it, and see if it helps me feel better.

When I planned to come down to the Los Angeles area, I’d originally planned to leave this morning. At the last minute, however, there seemed more to do than time would allow, so I extended my stay by one night.

It’s ended up being the worst day of my trip. Nothing bad has happened, nothing regrettable.. John Mayer once said it best..

I’m not alone, I wish I was
cuz then I’d know I was down because
I couldn’t find a friend around
to love me like they do right now.

Today I woke up feeling very alone. The room was alone, the apartment was alone, my day’s plans were alone, my night’s plans were alone.. and being a person who thrives on social settings, I’ve dealt with five or six hours of alone time almost every day since I arrived in California. Staring at a day with absolutely nothing inside of it is destroying me.

So like I said, I shouldn’t have changed my plans.

Although I am alone, I am so thankful that I am not lonely. Tomorrow night I will be back with the Birks, and will again experience the kind of swelling my heart feels when I am surrounded by so much love that I want to vomit.

Barnes and Noble is next door. I’m going to go try and make some friends. Wish me luck.