9/31 days of madeleine
9th October 2012 | 31 days of madeleine | 0 comments
“Integrity, like humility, is a quality which vanishes the moment we are conscious of it in ourselves. We see it only in others.”
Humility is one of those over used, misunderstood words. We often confuse humility with words like introverted, shy, insecure, spineless… and so on. As an incredibly outspoken person, I’ve had moments where I’ve given up on hopes of ever being a humble person, because I’ve been taught that humility is quiet.
But let’s be real. That’s incredibly unfair to say that God has given some of us an extreme disadvantage by giving us our personalities. If being humble means keeping my opinions to myself and smiling quietly while the stupidity of the world swirls around me then sorry, but I don’t want to be humble.
Fortunately for me and my overwhelming personality friends, humility isn’t a personality deal. It’s not about being quiet or being gentle or even being patient. Those are different things. At the Urbana conference a few years ago, I sat through one guys seminar and I am completely serious when I say that I only understood one sentence he spoke in the whole 45 minutes. He was just a fast talker and a big word user.
This guy said that humility is having a proper perception of onesself. That’s it. It’s not about those other words. It’s just knowing who you are. I’d go a step beyond it and say that true humility is having a proper perception of God, and then having a proper perception of ourselves when we look at him.
We do a disservice to ourselves and to each other when we associate the word “humble” with those words. We all, through prayer and seeking the Lord, have the opportunity and invitation to be humble. It doesn’t require a complete rewiring of our being. If we seek God more than we seek the response, opinion or validation of others, we’re on the right track. Humility is putting on Kingdom garments and claiming your citizenship here on earth. The first being last, losing to live, bowing low to be raised up. It’s the mark of Home.
8/31 days of madeleine
8th October 2012 | 31 days of madeleine, faith. | 0 comments
“In a very real sense not one of us is qualified, but it seems that God continually chooses the most unqualified to do his work, to bear his glory. If we are qualified, we tend to think that we have done the job ourselves. If we are forced to accept our evident lack of qualification, then there’s no danger that we will confuse God’s work with our own, or God’s glory with our own.”
Just re-read that a few times. Have a good Monday.
4/31 days of madeleine
4th October 2012 | 31 days of madeleine, faith. | 0 comments
“There’s a kind of vanity in thinking you can nurse the world. There’s a kind of vanity in goodness.”
A Ring of Endless Light
A few years ago I met a man named Frank. He was living on the streets of downtown Portland and my friends and I were there to hand out coffee. We got to talking and he started sharing his story – about how he’d gotten caught up in drugs and lost everything, but then got clean and didn’t have the necessary paperwork to (a job) (a place to live) (off the streets). And then he said something that blew my mind.
Frank told me that to be hungry on the streets of Portland, you had to be stupid and blowing your money on sex or drugs. He said he could get six meals every day if he planned it all right.
As we walked back to the car, I wondered if I had helped at all. Perhaps, I concluded, I helped by listening to Frank’s story and validating his feelings. But aside from that, had I made any sort of difference in his life or changed anything? No. Probably not. We cannot expect to be the solution to every problem. Getting Frank a job and a place to live was not up to me. My part in his story was to ask him to tell me his story, and then to listen.
My pastor said that to find your niche, you figure out what your strengths are, what the needs of your community are, and when you have found the place where the two intersect, you have found your niche. It’s not about all of your strengths meeting every need around you; that is impossible and to assume you are All in All, which is God alone.
To believe that we are able to meet every need that crosses our path is not only vain, but is a lack of faith. The beauty in the Body is that the eye cannot say to the hand “I don’t need you,” and the head cannot say to the feet ” I don’t need you.” When I try to make my gifts the answer to every problem that crosses my path, I am saying to my more equipped, more clearly called friends “I don’t need you.”
The subheading of that passage of Scripture is “One Body, Many Parts.”
We are like the Power Rangers, all having our individual personalities, gifts and passions. But the magic is when we all morph into one big giant robot, built up of a bunch of individuals with different gifts. We could not defeat Ivan Ooze on our own, but that was never the idea. Also, it’s been awhile since I watched the Power Rangers. I was always down with the Pink Ranger (big shock).
It’s morphing time!
1/31 days of madeleine
1st October 2012 | 31 days of madeleine | 0 comments
Last year, I did this “31 days of…” thing in October. I chose songs. Annie chose courage, Marisa chose wedding planning, other people chose other things. It never occurred to me that the opportunity would arise again this year, so when I saw Annie write about it I knew I had to jump on board again.
Two days ago, stuck at LAX, I typed up my introductory blog entry to 31 days of story. But it just didn’t rest well with me. I think I’m story-ed out for a minute. The Madeleine L’Engle book I’m currently reading is about story and it’s the hardest L’Engle book I’ve ever read. Usually I devour them in less than a week; I’ve been at this one for at least two months!
This morning as I dutifully opened up The Rock That is Higher (the Madeleine book) I remembered that today is Madeleine Monday and in the transitioning from Los Angeles to San Francisco, I hadn’t prepared anything. At that moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
31 days of Madeleine L’Engle.
Plenty of you know and admire her through me, but I want to introduce you to her. So everybody, this is Madeleine.
We do not need to think of our obligations in terms of success; we would fail to do anything at all if we knew we had to succeed. We simply do what we can; we offer our little loaves and fishes and leave the rest to the Lord.
(The Rock That is Higher, Story as Truth)
madeleine monday {3}
24th September 2012 | madeleine monday | 0 comments
“There is nothing we need be afraid to say before the Lord.”
~Madeleine L’Engle, And it was Good~
The 23rd hymn of September, 12.
23rd September 2012 | faith., words | 0 comments
The life in me cannot be felt.
Instead I breathe it in
and out – steady breath.
Life.
The love in me cannot be held.
Instead it passes in
and out – steady love.
Love.
The peace in me cannot be understood.
Instead He pours it in
and out – steady peace.
Peace.
The faith in me cannot be shaken.
Instead it moves me in
and out – steady faith.
Faith.
The life in me.
The love in me.
The peace in me.
The faith in me.
YAHWEH.
I’m doing a blog series.. :O
17th September 2012 | all the single ladies | 1 comment
As soon as I wrote that blog subject, I really did make a surprised face.. and I’m just hanging out with a bunch of strangers at Starbucks, so I’ll probably not make any friends.
Starting tomorrow, I’m going to be doing a blog series called “All the Single Ladies: What I wish the church knew about me.”
Guess what it’s about? There are some key words in there that should give it away. It’s about #1. being a part of the church #2. being a female and #3. being single.
All of those statements apply to me, but I rarely own it. For reasons that will definitely be covered.
Here’s why I’m saying this.
#1. Accountability
This is something I need to write. Maybe not for anybody but myself. I know some of you read this blog, and so I’m hoping you’ll keep me accountable. If, by the end of the day tomorrow, I have not posted my first blog in this series… call me, beep me… bother me about it, because this is important. Again, maybe just for myself. but I matter.
#2. Encouragement
There’s safety in numbers. My favorite books usually have me going “So? I’ve thought that hundreds of times before,” and two days later I see the beauty in that. I’d thought it but never felt safe enough to say it. The beauty is that someone was brave enough to declare it. and I want to be brave.
#3. Input
Please share with me via comments or Facebook or e-mail {stephanieorefice at gmail.com} things that YOU wish the church knew about you as a single female. Either now as one or prior to being engaged/married/etc. You don’t have to write an entire blog {BUT YOU CAN IF YOU WANT TO!!!…} just tell me what you think.
See you tomorrow. Sigh.
{012/365} what’s ahead.
18th August 2012 | 365, camp arnold., faith. | 0 comments
there’s only four of us left here at camp, and when i got back today nobody was around. i put on some cozy clothes and listened to music. i wrote about how i love the lake at camp arnold, but you know what else i love at camp arnold? the a-frames. due to the fact that the a-frames are considered “boystown,” i don’t get to live in them often. my first year as a camper {20 years ago!} i stayed in an a-frame, and so my first memory of camp arnold is the a-frames.
last night i had a long talk with my dad about life, about my fears and worries.
after years of trying to figure out what God would want me to be doing in 5 or 10 or 15 years, i decided to give up. every day i long for God to rescue me from the prison of time and the heartache of the world. although the world is so beautiful and lovely and full of so many wonderful things, it hurts to love people. madeleine says, “the more people we love, the more we are liable to be hurt, and not only by the people we love, but for the people we love.” i hurt because i am human and people i love are humans and we’re all broken and though we can offer healing touches in words, art, food or time.. we also do a lot of damage.
often my desire to pass from this world to the next is selfish and irresponsible. it is an escape route from the journey of faith i’m on. i relate to the words the apostle paul wrote to the church of philippi while he was in jail {though i am not in jail nor is execution on my horizon right now}, saying that to live is Christ and to die is gain; that he desired to depart and be with Jesus, which is better by far, but that he knew in his heart he would remain on the earth.
preach.
and so here i am.
i gave up on figuring out what God might want me to do in the future, and i have given up on dying or end times as an escape. instead i’ll just take it a day at a time and trust that so long as my eyes are on Jesus, i’ll at least be heading the right direction.
while i’m excited to see what new things God has for me once i leave camp, i’m anxious.
today as i was driving back to camp, i realized that these jonny lang lyrics perfectly summed it up:
“i’ve been running this road for the first time. sure like to know what’s ahead.”
{6.7.12} weeds.
7th June 2012 | faith. | 0 comments
oh, what peace we often forfeit
oh, what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.
no matter how good or faithful God has been to me throughout my entire life, i still find myself unable to fully and completely surrender my hopes and dreams to him.
a few days ago we were at the beach and as i walked through a sandy field of grass picking dandelions, i was hit with the call to surrender. i found a hidden place to sit, and i cried. i imagined that all of the tears falling down my cheek were the tangible expression of my dreams falling to God’s feet, dreams i want to trust him with. dreams he deserves and has proven he can be trusted with.
when i made my way to the sand, i twirled the bouquet of weeds in my hands. what an offering, right? a bunch of weeds.
but that’s the thing about God. he wants my weeds.
i carefully built an altar and placed my weeds in the middle. jonny lang has a song that best tells you what happened next.
i’ll give you my burdens…
i’ll give you peace.
all of my desires…
i’ll give you what you need.
and what about these chains, Lord?
i’ll set you free.
but they’re so heavy…
lay them at my feet.
i’ll lay them at your feet..
just promise you won’t leave.
i’ll never leave.
so where do i go from here, Lord?
just follow me… just follow me.{more than a man, jonny lang}
i took a picture so i could print it out a hundred times and leave it all over, everywhere. constant reminders that i have given these things to God. surrender is a daily thing, not a one time place or moment. that place or moment is just the beginning. every day, multiple times a day, i must spiritually carry the burden of hope to God and place it at his feet and say “take it – it’s yours.” surrendering my stuff to God doesn’t mean i suddenly stop producing hopes, dreams and desires. it just means i know where to let it all pour out.
the past four days have proven to me that i need reminders. sometimes i forget that i have given them to God and i don’t need to fill my time and waste my energy trying to create the desired outcomes.
by now, i’m sure my altar is gone. but i have that picture.
