June 18th, 2013 – I’m alive.
18th June 2013 | everyday life | 1 comment
That is a picture of me from about ten minutes ago. I found that piece of paper from many years ago. We were driving from Portland to Seattle to see a second day of Hanson. There were some girls in the car next to us that looked like they could be Hanson fans. So I ripped out a piece of paper from a notebook, made this sign and held it up to the window.
The girls in the other car got excited and started waving and confirming that they, indeed, were on their way to see Hanson.
So I found this paper, which was from years ago, and realized that I have this horrible habit of saving pieces of paper. I save everything. Important packaging from wrapping paper, strings used to tie gifts together, ticket stubs, doodles or notes or drawings.. and I always think “this would be great to journal!”
But guess what. Let me tell you the dates of my last ten journal entries.
June 18th, 2013 (today)
June 10th, 2013 (only to lament about a coconut oil spill in my bag)
June 3rd, 2013 (because I couldn’t find my Bible study notebook)
April 22, 2013 (on a plane)
April 21, 2013 (at the Birks)
April 5th, 2013 (after reading my California journal)
February 17, 2013 (at the Worship arts retreat)
February 16, 2013 (at the Worship arts retreat)
February 15, 2013 (at the Worship arts retreat)
December 19, 2012 (to document a piece of wrapping paper and a Starbucks sticker)
TEN ENTRIES in six months. No wonder my little scrap pieces of paper tucked into everything collection is getting bad.
Then I thought about how I haven’t really blogged lately. or done anything, really.
My time at home has been spent sitting in my bathroom crying or sleeping, because I just hate calendars and phone calls and text messages and TIME. It’s killing me.
This morning I woke up at 5:30. My mom asked why I woke up so early and I said “I have no idea.” and I don’t. My body let me get four and a half hours of sleep, as if my body is worried it will sleep away valuable hours. So I read a little bit of The Summer of the Great Grandmother (this summer’s Madeleine L’Engle book) and cleaned and laid in bed, rubbing my feet together as if warmer toes were what I needed to get out of bed.
Now I have a cup of coffee in my system, warm toes, a journal entry, and this blog entry. I’d love to stay and write some more but time keeps on ticking into the future and I am going to get breakfast with Anna.
what I’ve learned since I started attempting banana bread.
23rd May 2013 | everyday life | 2 comments
First of all, it should be no secret that I love banana bread. I mean… I LOVE it. At one point very recently in my life, I was eating one slice of banana bread for every cup of coffee I had.
Seriously love banana bread. Especially when it’s chilled, and with walnuts. SO GOOD.
But recently I stopped eating gluten. Which meant no more Starbucks banana bread. :( 
I don’t if you can hear my heart breaking from all the way over there… but it is still shattering when I think about it.
It didn’t mean, however, that I needed to stop eating banana bread all together. I just would have to…. make it.
and for the past month or so, I’ve been trying to make banana bread.
Key word: trying…
(that is a strawberry chocolate chip banana bread attempt)
Took a shower, picked out my clothes, brewed a pot of coffee, worked on a puzzle… and finally it was done!
Carefully took the bread out of the oven, toothpicked it to make sure it was done, and then went back to the puzzle.
Finally, two hours after I started, I sliced the first piece of bread. and for once… for once it was decent. No walnuts, but it was decent. I stood, sipping my coffee and slowly eating my banana bread and I realized that banana bread, like most anything I choose to look at with an open heart, teaches me about life.
There’s so much more to life than quick, easy and convenient. It is impossible to fully appreciate something you get immediately. Something about yearning makes the acquiring even sweeter, even if the bread is a little soggier than I’d like and is walnutless. It’s mine. I carefully measured the ingredients, mashed the bananas, poured the batter, and waited.
I am guilty of not living life like I’m trying to make a decent loaf of banana bread. I live life searching for the quick, easy and convenient.
But thanks to my quest to make the perfect loaf of banana bread, I am weekly being reminded to slow down, to wait, and to appreciate. Also to collaborate and listen. That’s a joke.
and please share any (gluten-free) banana bread recipes you’ve tried and love. PLEASE. I’m dying.
6 more things that make me happy.
9th May 2013 | 101, elephants, everyday life, zoothousand13 | 1 comment
#13. watching Lily try to get her ball back. SO CUTE.
#14. Micah wanting to wear my sweatshirt.
#15. Smiley faces in the O’s of ZOO.
#16. random drawings on my Starbucks cup.
#17. Dinosaurs on every table.
#18. After a long talk with Bradley about love and what love looks like (or should look like), seeing this in a bathroom.
things that make me happy.
6th May 2013 | 101, everyday life, friendlies | 2 comments
This month I’m taking pictures of 101 things that make me happy. 
#1. Lunch at the zoo with Micah
#2. Getting a super awesome parking spot at the zoo on a busy day.
#3. picking flowers.
#4. My Pura Vida phone cover
#5. Driving over this bridge via Germantown.
#6. This lovely flower it seemed they put out at Stumptown just for me.
#7. Making a new Canadian friend. JK, it actually terrified me the closer I got.
#8. TWO pieces of mail from Pura Vida.
#9. A free Pura Vida bracelet!
#10. This beautiful, giant rose.
#11. This awesome bird.
#12. Stopping with my friends to pet dogs.
Hymned Again again
2nd March 2013 | everyday life, music | 0 comments
I somehow acquired a copy of Bart Millard’s Hymned No 1. Bart’s the lead singer of MercyMe, and it’s a bunch of bluegrassy renditions of hymns. I loved it and planned on buying Hymned Again when I came across it in real life.
May 10th, 2010 I saw a copy of it at a used CD store going out of business, so you best believe I snatched it up the moment I saw it.
I got back to the apartment and this happened.
Last night I finally went to the Rock & Worship Road Show. I’ve been trying to go for years, but we keep barely missing each other by a day. I’d go to San Francisco the day before they played there, but then the next day it’d be in Portland or something. You know, just ships passing in the night.
But finally.
And then…
at the MercyMe merch table…
for $5….
THEY HAD HYMNED AGAIN.
I bought that. and a new copy of the first one. and an extra copy of the first one to give to Captain Hilary.
Ask me how excited I am, because I can’t actually answer that with real words.
I got my tax refund, and decided that if I didn’t get it while I had the extra money, I’d probably never do it…
Yesterday, before the Rock and Worship Roadshow, Aaron helped us get in to see Tyrone at the Bing Lounge. Unfortunately he was playing on the same night, so that was all we got to see Tyrone. I’ve already saved the date for next time… whenever that will be.
It’s a wrap for February.
1st March 2013 | 101, camp arnold., everyday life, friendlies, Year of Challenge, zoothousand13 | 4 comments
Well crap… February’s over. I hardly blogged. I didn’t do everything on my February list.
Mostly that’s because there was a significant change in my life that took up a lot of my energy and time. I started a new job, as the Youth and Creative Ministries Director at my church. It takes me awhile to settle in to new things… but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it.
I updated my February list. And I’m not about making excuses, but do you even realize how hard it is to find raspberry extract? It’s nowhere! And I made the mistake of waiting on other people to walk across i5 with me, so my plans for that were always depending on someone else… so it didn’t end up happening. Guess that’s getting added to March. And that whole getting a job thing put a pause on Nashville.. but let’s not even talk about that, or I’ll get sad.
And. Let’s be honest.
I consciously gave up on 365. I have yet to figure out a groove for this. Any veterans have any advice?? Or is it one of those “you just DO IT” things? Probably.
So anyway.
And usually when I don’t blog for awhile it’s because I’m doing stuff and I want to share it, but I feel weird exploiting every good thing in my life the moment it happens. I like to keep things to myself and cherish them for awhile.
{2} So does Ellen
{3} …who is the cutest.
{4-6} Me and Graham, who I am more honored to know as each new day passes.
But now I have to go write 1,000 words… since that’s my March thing.
Basically, I like the view.
15th January 2013 | 101, 365, everyday life, music, travels | 0 comments
“When I stand on my hill at the top… basically I like the view.” ~The BGP
This weekend I went to Seattle to go to The BGP’s 10 year anniversary concert. I’ve not been around for all 10 years, but May of this year will be 8 years of supporting this band, my favorite band.
I’m forever grateful to Brandon and his songs and the ways they have made my life better, and shame on me for not saying that as often as I know I should.
Today I was cleaning out underneath my sink and I found an empty lotion bottle. Which might not mean a lot to you, but it meant the world to me because when I put it with my collection of empty spray/lotion bottles, I realized… I’ve emptied 15 of them, and I can cross it off of my 101 list.
Maybe you can’t tell.. but there’s 15 of them there. Now that I have this picture, I can stop collecting the bottles!
And to catch up in other areas…
13/31
White tank: Forever 21
Purple sweater: Lauren Conrad
Grey cardigan: J. Jill {thrifted}
Skirt: some store on 23rd.
zebra flats: Target
14/31.. this was definitely the kind of day I wanted to have.
pink tank: Forever 21
shirt: VS pink
jacket: VS pink
leggings: target
shoes: Converse
And then some 365 catch up, since I am way behind.
8/365
Reunited with one of my favorite kids ever. Seriously, last night when I prayed for this family I almost started crying because I love them so much. He did that puzzle all by himself.
9/365
Once, Pastor Matt talked about loving people in a way they can understand. Love languages, you know? I’ve been trying to be more intentional in all of my life, so I told Jeremiah that after I came back from a walk with his sister, I’d play the XBox with him. Which really means a lot because I hate video games. But I love Jeremiah, and he made it fun.
10/365
My Puravida bracelets came in the mail. I put them on and haven’t taken them off. Bracelets are stories, you know? And each of these bracelets goes to help a different cause. And they’re just cool, let’s be real.
11/365
I went with Brittany and her small group to a spoken word/music night thing. And who knew that poetry was so awesome? I didn’t know I loved it. It was AMAZING, and all of the performers had so much talent.
12/365
Speaking of basically liking the view… the view out of Brittany’s ADORABLE apartment’s window. We went across the street to the Hub and scarfed down breakfast. I can’t wait to visit Brittany again because this day, January 12th, was moving day and so I spent the last unfurnished night with her.
13/365
After The BGP’s show on Saturday, Leveryll and I drove home in the middle of the night. I got a little bit of sleep before waking up for church.. then spent the whole day with my friends, and when I got home I saw this and realized #1. I had been so tired that I hardly moved in my sleep and #2. this was the most beautiful sight ever.
14/365
Another “just about to go to bed” picture. I hadn’t been able to do much reading over the weekend, and man.. I felt it. Even though I’d read for Bible study and taken in the sermon on Sunday, it wasn’t enough. It’s amazing how the words Christ said about man not living by bread alone, but by every word of God can take on a whole new meaning when you feed your spirit the truth. My soul was feeling hunger pains that could only satisfied with meditating on the Word.
grace in place of grace.
8th January 2013 | 101, 365, everyday life, faith., zoothousand13 | 2 comments
Last night my friends and I had our first Bible study after weeks.. months.. of talking about it. We read John 1:1-18, verse by verse and talked about each one.
And we got to verse 16. My Bible says,
“From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.”
but in Anna’s Bible it said,
“Out of his fullness, we have all received grace in place of grace already given.”
Follow me on this, but it made me think of Britney Spears. I just tried googling this, but decided that I didn’t care enough. But at one point, she said she never wore the same pair of underwear twice. The girl is so rich that she can wear a pair of underwear, throw them away and then wear a brand new pair.. though maybe she’s not so rich because she stopped wearing underwear, right? But you get the idea. Her wealth abounds so much that she can senselessly replace that which hasn’t even been used up.
Can you see why it made me think of that? …I mean maybe not WHY, but HOW. haha.
God replenishes his grace for us before we’ve used up the first dose. The Bible says his mercies are new EVERY MORNING. That means you know when he replenishes his mercies for me? While I’m sleeping. While I’m lying there doing absolutely nothing. As if the gift wasn’t undeserved enough, he goes and does it while I drool or snore or toss and turn, and he gives me each morning to wake to His mercies and mystery, his grace and glory.
And to think.. how many days I wake up and greet the “same old” God, with the “same old” prayers, and the “same old” heart within me. But he did a new, amazing thing in the still of the night. He washed the clothes I hardly wore, he refilled the coffee I barely sipped and he gave me fresh grace to handle the messiness of myself and the world.
That translation overwhelms me and gives me a tiny glimpse of how much God might love me. Just a glimpse. Whenever I hear the first verse of “In Christ Alone,” (which is playing RIGHT NOW, weird..).. you know, the “what heights of love, what depths of peace” part… I get this image of Jesus looking at me as if I’m the only person he’s ever seen, and he says “YOU WILL NEVER KNOW,” referencing his love for me. I will never know the magnitude of God’s love for me, but sometimes I get a tiny glimpse into it. But the well runs deep.
Cardigan: Gap {thrifted.. I’m going to start pointing this out}
Dress: Liz Claiborne {thrifted}
Leggings: Mossimo
Gold flats: H&M
Lion necklace: Forever 21 {but you can’t really see it.. oh well}
I’ve started watching Gossip Girl. So there goes all of my free time. It’s been chilly at night so I’ve been consuming a lot of hot chocolate.
Thermal shirt: VS pink
Purple sweatshirt: Roxy
Fleece jacket: Roxy
Jeans & boots: American Eagle
The zoo… again. You know, I used to think the “Great Northwest” area of the zoo was lame. I mean.. just go to Northwest Trek… but these animals have weaseled their way into my heart. This bald eagle… is SO. BEAUTIFUL. and kind of terrifying, especially if you’ve mentioned its mullet and then it turns around and stares at you.
12.12.12.
13th December 2012 | 101, everyday life | 0 comments
Twelve has been my favorite number since I was 10. It was – perhaps still is – my dad’s favorite number. 12 tribes of Judah, 12 disciples, 12 days of Christmas.. well, I don’t know about the last one but my dad told me about the first two when I was little. Every Saturday we went to the Christian Supply store kids hour, and one week there was a lady who made this cool drawing. They said they’d give it away to one kid, and they randomly asked an adult to pick a number between 1 and 50.
They picked my dad.
I picked 12.
Guess who won the drawing?
On Tuesday, Sarah and Abigail asked me what I was planning on doing to celebrate 12.12.12., since they have sharp memories and knew it was on my 101 list. So I started going off on this great list of ideas, stuff about giving away hot chocolate and rescuing 12 abandoned puppies and sewing 12 skirts.. joking, but still they were big ideas. I said “maybe the night before,” and Sarah interrupted me. “You mean tonight?” she asked.
And I realized… 12.12.12. had sneaked up on me and I was completely unprepared.
But you never need money or plans to celebrate something. I celebrated 12.12.12. by being completely in it. So here are 12 pictures from 12.12.12.
After days and days of being sick, I made my bed. I think it threw Princess off, because she sat like this for a few minutes.
Driving to get Micah.
Micah watched Allen’s performance on Jay Leno from the night before. Then Micah said “before we have lunch, we can ALWAYS watch Allen Stone on your computer, okay?”
I forgot to be ready to take a picture when the girls arrived home, so we decided to recreate it, but forgot some important elements like jackets, shoes and backpacks.
After lunch, Micah and I shared some hot cocoa and brownies. His looks like a heart, but really I’d tried to cut a small M.
Sarah organized her embroidery thread…
…and graciously let me borrow some to make a friendship bracelet. Which didn’t work out so well, because I’m not actually that great at making friendship bracelets.
When I got home, my super-festive and so-far-favorite Birchbox was waiting for me.
…and I didn’t even get a phone-cap of 12:12 on 12/12/12! Oh well. I was fully there, and that’s what matters. Did you do anything special to celebrate 12/12/12?
This is my life when I’m sick.
11th December 2012 | everyday life | 1 comment
On Thursday I started getting sick, and it was all downhill from there. So I’ve spent the better part of the last 3 days laying on the couch, taking lots of medicine, and watching LOST. Oh yeah, and I’ve been documenting the whole thing via my phone. Let’s recap…
ONE
Saturday morning I woke up early and drove from Seattle to Vancouver, sneezing and coughing the whole way.
TWO
I immediately got into pajamas and cozy socks, drowned my sorrows in some DayQuil and got down to business watching LOST.
THREE
Picture two showed you the view I had of the TV… this is the view the TV had of me.
FOUR
I couldn’t sleep on Saturday night at all. Part of it was that I was sick and couldn’t breathe, but then I realized that because I’d stumbled into my room in the darkness and hadn’t had the lights on all day, the stars on my ceiling were not glowing! So I turned the lights on for a few minutes so that I could sleep under the (glow-in-the-dark) stars.
FIVE
Sunday I woke up early to go to the Jingle Bell Breakfast at church. I know I was there, but I hardly remember any of it because I was exhausted and sick. I returned home, slept for a few hours, and woke up just in time to go with Beckie to see Bob Goff speak. This was my little pile that had accumulated by the evening. Looks fun, right?
SIX
Super fun. This was me at about 10 pm on Sunday evening, at about the time when I realized someone needed to take my phone away from me.
The great thing about being couch-ridden for the past two and a half days is that I have put a huge dent in watching LOST. I’m determined to watch all 6 seasons without Wikipediaing what happens. Already a few episodes into Season 5 and I’ve been successful. I can’t wait to finish this show, mostly because I hate everyone on it… but most especially Ben. That guy just needs to get shot. I’d say he needs to get beat up, but apparently even that doesn’t do anything. I think I know some people like that.
