it is well with me.

Nearly three months ago, there was a big upset in my life. I’ve spent a LOT of time processing it, and I’ve been growing a lot through it. At the advice of Amber, I prayed that God would keep me soft.. that through this whole thing, I wouldn’t start to push people away or develop trust issues or become bitter, but that I’d stay vulnerable and raw, filled with a quiet joy and a constant hope.

Two weeks ago I went up to camp for two days. At breakfast, a stream of teenagers waited to talk to me… teenagers I’d known as campers, but who were now staff members. Then Mitchell gave me a name tag:

Summer 2015 // stephanieorefice.net

Over the course of my two days, I did dishes, helped treat campers for lice, was able to say goodnight to the first campers to sleep in the new cabins, played dodgeball, was a counselor, and cleaned up a pukey bathroom. I poured my heart out on my two days off at camp, and as I drove out of the driveway on my way home I started sobbing.

Because I realized…. I am okay.

Not just in some sort of self-affirming “you are strong and fierce and brave” kind of way, but in a… holy crap, I’m completely surviving this situation that has broken my heart. I’m okay. I can still pour out love and serve to the point of exhaustion; I can listen and respond and be brave and make friends and step away to be alone and laugh with people.

I needed to be at camp to see that.

it is well // stephanieorefice.net

Driving away, I lost it. I kept saying “thank you, thank you, thank you,” to the Lord… over and over and over. I didn’t need any more words. Just gratitude, because the storm has passed.

Then I listened to this:

 

and I felt my whole entire being sigh, because God’s got me. He masterfully brought me to the place where I hear him the clearest because I need him the deepest, and then he drenched me – straight up DRENCHED ME – in his peace. The journey of the past few months has been an emotional, wild ride. I’m learning to hold expectations loosely and be pleasantly surprised with what God does with the things that make up my life.

God is far more creative than I am and has unimaginable resources at his disposal, so trusting him seems a bit like a no-brainer at this point.

it is well // stephanieorefice.net

 

 


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July 8, 2015
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  • Love this! It’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

  • Love this, and I’m so happy for you! I know you’ll continue to be drenched in that peace!

    • <3 YES!!!! i'm going to keep walking in it. <3

  • Love! 🙂

  • love that the storm has passed 🙂 “sometimes he calms the storm, sometimes he calms his child”

    • YES! AMEN! also!!! WE NEED TO FACETIME!

      • we do!!! what is the time difference? you are 3 hours behind me, i think??

        what time is generally good for you?!

  • playing this song right now (thanks for including it!). and how beautiful that you can serve to the point of exhaustion and also reflect on what God is doing. yasss girl. (speaking of storms, i’m posting about that tomorrow!!)

    • can’t wait to read it sweet julie!!!!!!!!! <3

  • also, your be soft comment made me think of this quote – i think it sums you up 🙂

    http://imgfave.com/view/6090023

    • YES!!!!! that is so true to what i feel like i fight for!!! <3

  • This is so, so great!

  • Love that song. I did camps for many, many summer. Such fun! It’s great to get away and re-calibrate. Hugs

  • I do love that song! I often find in ministering in the midst of my own pain, that God works healing in me as I minister His healing to others.

    • YES! something about pouring out on other people is so helpful in helping us heal. i was telling one of my friends that this morning – that if i’d been able to spend an entire summer at camp i’m pretty sure ALL of my wounds would be completely gone… God’s giving me just enough to still need to trust him and not put my hope in camp instead of him ;D

  • J Stults

    Hi, Stephanie! 🙂 I love hearing how He drenched you in His peace – beautiful! I’m stopping by from A Little R & R tonight. Thanks for this!

    • <3 you're welcome! thanks for stopping by!!! <3

  • Stephanie-The Enchanting Rose

    My dear Stephanie {lovely name, by the way **smiles**}, your post was such a blessing to read! “it Is Well With My Soul” is my ultimate favorite hymn….every time I sing the words I get tears in my eyes. Our God is always faithful even through the storms.

    Thank you so much for sharing this precious post with Roses of Inspiration….I hope you’re able to join us again this coming week.

    Hugs and blessings!